#corporatedoublespeak

I understand the EC managing expectation with hybrid in office expectations. 2 hours a day for 3 days per week isn’t going to cut it, completely agreed.

But to say leaving in the afternoon isn’t cutting it is too far gone. Just make up your mind. It’s either in office 3 days a week for 8 hours per day or not. If that so then let it be so.

I can’t stand when EC harps down on the plebs like they are less than thee when we all know that the EC is not spending the vast majority of the time in the office.

“We can’t afford raises this year, but here’s an email announcing our record-breaking profits.”

• Corporate Comms

Do you think these Transforming Out Culture email announcements are a little tone deaf as they just riffed a bunch of people yesterday? It’s like stay consistent while we constantly riff. They talk about integrity when they have none

We get all the usual talk about how important people are to the business, followed by another round of job cuts. Do they take us for id--ts?

So tired of these town halls being a repurposed stockholders meetings. Never seems like any real information or solutions are ever really addressed. How many times are we going to hear about "in this together" or you own this project that an entire team is already paid to do

It’s really telling that he’s trying to spin that these changes are a result of the Insights Survey.

Laughable

On a scale of 1 to 10 when it comes to corpo BS generator, that email was 100. "will reconsider where work is performed. "global capabilities more effectively." AKA, outsourcing to India.

Who wants to be the one to educate our CEO and whoever is guiding him that the term accelerate when coupled with “multi year” is an oxyMORON.

Anyone feel like Rick was gaslighting us a bit in the Q&A during the corporate update? No layoffs huh? I know of several!!

This time of year, during AEP, Humana seeks to stifle anything negative on here, on LinkedIn, on Reddit, and even the news Media

They shamefully pay off all sources that could make them look bad.

If it could be proven we could probably sue some of these organizations for censorship by means of being bribed.

Anyone read this conversation with Paul Sanford on Iris? It’s like it was written by a corporate BS generator. It’s a really long winded way of telling us that there is going to be more layoffs and offshoring.

A company with a reputation for frustrating customers has now decided to give its employees the same experience, complete with layoff limbo, corporate doublespeak, and mandatory office attendance. And somehow, we’re supposed to believe top talent will be lining up at the door? Sure, money talks, but so does reputation. And without the NBCUniversal halo giving the place some cultural cachet, what’s the pitch exactly? Come for the paycheck, stay for the uncertainty? At this rate, the biggest challenge won’t be cutting talent. It’ll be convincing anyone talented to come here in the first place.

And here comes the inevitable “we’re going to operate like a startup!” A startup? In this economy? With decades of corporate baggage and the same leadership that got the business into this mess? That’s not a fresh start. That’s a rebrand of the same problems with fewer resources and higher expectations. I signed up to grow a successful business, not rebuild one under the direction of the people who ran it into the ground. Same leadership, fewer employees, bigger expectations? Hard no. That’s not a startup. That’s a turnaround without accountability. scan artists at its finest.

Two Centenes showed up today.

At Deutsche Bank, the investor story was margin recovery: fewer Medicaid members, a major Florida contract exit, Medicare Advantage still working toward break-even, and hundreds of millions in severance, contract-exit, and third-party “optimization” costs excluded from adjusted SG&A.

Then Centene’s Chief Health Officer posted about a fellowship built around challenging assumptions, cross-sector partnership, affordability, access, and improving outcomes for the communities Centene serves.

Neither message is false. That is what makes the split-screen so effective.

One audience gets the carefully curated story of what can be shed, repriced, exited, or adjusted to make the numbers work. The other gets the mission story about what healthcare should become.

At Centene, “challenging assumptions” appears to mean asking everyone except leadership to accept theirs.

They’ve been trying to corner the market with AI bs for months. Now is the time to dump.

Ok so it’s been a sh-t day and days we know. But don’t forget it’s the gleeful townhall tmrw.

What’s you betting on the first words out of any exec.

My bingo card has

• what an exceptional quarter and it’s all thanks to you
• we have you to thank for this
• it’s now time to execute

No intention of listening to any of this B S. But curious to see little Paul on his barstool with 4 other AI robots droning on and on about an absolute load of old corporate management twaddle. What did you think? I lasted about 15 mins then nodded off. Did my timesheet though.

This just feels like a weird internal PR stunt and doesn't feel intellectually honest. Thoughts?

Who’s excited?! gag I can’t wait to hear what bullsh-t they tell us this time

Just noticed this as a headline on the Intranet, had to click on it and was expecting some great motivational words of wisdom from DW, but no this was talking about rebooting your computer twice per week.

Just noticed this as a headline on the Intranet, had to click on it and was expecting some great motivational words of wisdom from DW, but no this was talking about rebooting your computer twice per week.

Just the "Sustainable Operations," section alone is one big fat joke. Yes, continue to brag about your NetZero initiatives, meanwhile, drag people into offices they really have no business being in, forcing them to consume natural resources they otherwise don't need to, and create even more pollution and road congestion. Oh, and don't get me started on the fact we're seemingly moving another 10k jobs to a country that uses 4.3 times more coal for electricity generation that we do domesticly.

I stumbled across a Reddit thread where H1Bs were complaining about how US offshoring to GCCs is negatively effecting even their ability to find work.

No matter how bad you think it is, it's much worse. These board members and their lapdog executives rayping and pillaging the lives of ordinary working people is disgusting.

I've started taking steps to start my own business because it is evident that no matter what I do, I am unsafe working in corporate America. I am unsafe working for US Bank (of India). There is no future here.

"Reclaiming our in office culture" aka "reclaiming the lives of our slaves"

I wish everyone the best in trying to find their way out of this toxic, exploitative culture. I hope everyone gets out and this company burns and bankrupts the board and the executives when it does.

Seriously, how many VPs does one company need?

At Omnicell, the org chart sometimes feels less like a lean healthcare technology company and more like a VP convention with an occasional product roadmap thrown in.

You have to wonder:

👉 What does everyone actually do all day?
👉 How many “strategic alignment” meetings or “workshops” can one organization possibly have?
👉 And how many VPs does it take to schedule another meeting with the other VPs?

Then there are titles that make you stop and wonder whether the role exists because the company genuinely needs it—or because somebody needed another box on the organizational chart.

And yes… VP of Internal Communications.

That one might actually be justified. Someone has to spend all day figuring out how to turn:

“We’re eliminating your position”

into

“We’re strategically realigning our workforce to unlock future opportunities.” 😂

Maybe the real innovation at Omnicell isn’t automation.

It’s automating the creation of executive titles.

How many VPs are too many?

Asking for the shareholders. 👀

Anyone catch that LA mansion trip

Nike Budget Meeting:

'Sorry everyone, we're in really tough times. No raises. No team lunches. No travel. No new hires. Please share a stapler with three departments.'

Meanwhile...

'Book the 37-bedroom Beverly Hills mansion, fly in the athletes, reserve the Michelin-star restaurants, add a private chef, hire a DJ, extend the trip into a family vacation, upgrade everyone to first class, and if the infinity pool doesn't overlook the Hollywood sign, we'll need another mansion.'

Leadership:
'We're all making sacrifices'

Just as expected, a pitiful Q2 earnings call with an on par deflection from management regarding "supply chain issues" (we all know better than that). The after hours trading price tells the truth.

JA posted on LinkedIn that Exploration is Back! Tell me how because I don’t see it from where I work wells in the upstream…..

Is he still selling pipe dreams so he can retire? Did he ever find anythind?

Regarding this year's annual DCG layoff action: “As part of our broader strategy to become a more focused and efficient company, (the data center group) is aligning its organization to ensure it has the right roles and skills in place to position the business for long-term success,” Intel said in a written statement

For the comms/HR person that penned this, you're probably within ~12 months of getting axed, if not sooner.

I swear, after20+ years, they say basically the same exact thing at every meeting, just change out a few buzz words.. but the subject/content is the same…..every time. So basically have made no real difference “to the lives of the people we serve”. Ugggg

Almost forgot to post about this. Heard a PL (not mine, she's amazing) one day the week before last say "Mission Simplify has nothing to do with layoffs and RIFs. It's all about operational efficiency."

Riiiiiiiight.

Does Sammy Sun not believe that CFS needs to “collaborate” as much as CUSA?

What happened to “One Canon”, “Transform as One”, “Lead as One”, “Grow as One”, etc….Whatever regurgitated slogans they come up with the word one in it.

This company is filled with hypocrisy and incompetency. They should make CFS come in to Burlington on Thursdays & Fridays. Simple fix.

But oh no, boo hoo, they don’t want to make them come in on Fridays. Or maybe, Wednesdays are to be designated as the big pow wow day for CFS & CUSA to get together to sing “Kumbaya, My Lord” around the campfire and do the Limbo Rock?

Whether it’s Google, office consolidations, pricing…this company botches everything.

The large disconnect between Truist Messaging and the way it treats its employees and clients has to be the greatest hypocrisy of any marketing campaign. Employees are being set up, thrown out, and reputations smeared. Clients are getting over engineered loans and being pushed out aggressively for no reason. This doesn’t seem to fit anything w purpose? Certainly isn’t making better lives and communities. Definitely not unwavering with care!? How can you throw some many lies out there and think the public won’t figure it out? Great job Bill. You get an F for CEO. Failing grade.

Why four days? Simply put, four is twice as many as two.

As a result, employees should expect approximately twice the collaboration, twice the innovation, and, where practical, twice the culture.

While these projections have not yet been validated, they remain directionally encouraging.

The Value of Presence

Research consistently demonstrates that employees working in close physical proximity are more likely to:

• Ask if anyone has seen the conference room adapter.
- Spend fifteen minutes determining whose turn it is to reboot the meeting-room computer.
- Participate in spontaneous conversations that begin with, "Quick question..." and conclude forty-three minutes later.

These are the kinds of high-value interactions that cannot be replicated through purpose-built collaboration software specifically designed to replicate them.

Visibility Matters

Although employee evaluations will continue to be based entirely on performance and results, it is important that those results occur where they can be observed.

This allows leadership to appreciate the effort that accompanies the work, such as walking briskly between conference rooms while carrying a laptop.

Building Culture

Many employees have indicated that they already feel connected to their teams.
This is encouraging, but incomplete.

Organizational culture is strengthened through shared experiences, including:

• Searching multiple floors for an available meeting room.
- Listening to someone else's conference call while attending your own.
- Discovering at 11:58 a.m. that everyone had the same idea for lunch.

These experiences build institutional knowledge that is difficult to quantify, which is fortunate.

Addressing Productivity

Some employees have expressed concern that additional commuting time may reduce the number of hours available for focused work.

Leadership recognizes this possibility.

To offset the impact, employees are encouraged to become more efficient.

Frequently Asked Question
Q: If my team is distributed across three states and we still meet on video calls, why am I commuting?
A: While your meetings may still occur virtually, it is important that they occur virtually from the office.

This reinforces our shared commitment to flexibility

I LOVE the cryptic emails from our wonderful leader.

If Nike was doing things right then 18 months under EH should have come out with next generation of new designs and new strategy as to how to attack and new story line. Cricket~?

Instead from EH all we hear same old recycled corporate restructure narrative, at this time frankly it is getting old.

I was at UA when sh-t was going down and they played the same movie so I have seen it before. Promises and promises until the CEO cannot lie no more and next CEO comes in until he cannot BS no more on and on until the company is done.

@cx+1kr2mtsk2 said it well.

Wonder why all the SVP-VP-Directors all love to use the phrase PUSH THE BOUNDARIES. What do you keep telling the lower employees to push for??

Anyone else read the corporate jargon email from Mr. Tractor today? The ELT wants us to build on three enterprise skills….which will lead to us being rewarded with what exactly? No one can be promoted anymore because of our terrible new HR model. What is the incentive to improve exactly? Don’t say VCIP either, that is turning into a total joke and has become essentially whatever the leaders want to pay. If we can’t be rewarded, what is the point of continuous improvement? That only works with companies that actually reward performance. This company is doomed until we have a real leader in HR and someone willing to stand up to the CEO and CFO.

BNY Pershing’s CIO came and went faster than a transformation buzzword. The British hipster swagger, the artisan‑arrogance, the 'Untuckit' shirt and white tennis shoes style and the “I’ll fix and co-locate everything in six weeks” energy — all gone. And in classic BNY fashion, the update is delivered with that beloved euphemism: “He is no longer with us.” Translation: blink and you missed him.

"...we don't have large scale layoffs planned." - Gunjan Kedia, 4/22/2026

Just "small scale" layoffs, huh?

Always subtext, always a spin, may they all rot.

I keep seeing some certain white dudes who never rose above Sr. Director at Nike (or anywhere!) promote themselves on LinkedIn as having been a Vice-President. Nothing says executive presence like a title from the imagination department. Anyone else see this out there??? WTF???

Only a genius could come up with the perfect business model. Create fake jobs to review fake work, challenge fake wording, produce fake governance, and then report fake progress on risks everyone already understood. Then call it “enhanced oversight”.

But the good news is: several fake issues are being actively monitored and reported in several fake risk committees.

So that’s nice.