Dear Team,
After years of paying you to do your jobs, we've discovered that the real problem holding Verizon back from "delighting customers" is.... you! Specifically, 13,000+ of you. Your salaries are apparently the only thing standing between us and becoming "faster, simpler, leaner, and scrappier". We are firing a fifth of our managers so the rest of you can live up to your potential. This isn't a layoff, it's an exciting "reset" and "reorientation" around our sacred mission of delighting customers. Think of it as a HOLIDAY GIFT. 'Tis the season to be overworked as we enter this new era of additional blackout days and longer store hours. If it doesn't ki-l you it will make you stronger which should help you during our next rounds of "promotions to customer". But don't worry, we're putting 20 million in a "reskilling and career transition fund" - that's roughly $1,500 per person which is totally enough to learn to code or become an influencer in this economy. We didn't even notice this was taking place during the holiday season and trust us, it was totally unintentional. Survivors, act grateful, work harder, and remember: the next "reset" is always one bad quarter away. Cheers!