#officepolitics

To: My Valued Cost-Centers (Employees),

​Happy New Year! As I sit here in my climate-controlled, triple-glazed corner suite, watching the sunrise over the yacht club, I couldn't help but feel a fleeting sense of warmth—though that may have just been the heated massage function on my Italian leather chair.

​2026 is the year of Synergy, Sacrifice, and Shareholder Supremacy.

​The Triumph of the Office Return
I want to personally congratulate those of you who have successfully navigated the commute to join us in the office at least 3 days a week. Seeing you all hunched over your laptops, participating in Teams meetings with the person sitting three feet away, truly warms my heart. It’s that "water cooler magic" we talked about—even if the water cooler was removed to make room for another row of unassigned lockers.

​I’m aware that some of you have complained about the Hot-Desking Lottery. Look at it as a daily adventure! Will you find a desk with a working monitor today? Or will you spend your morning playing "musical chairs" with a tangled nest of broken HDMI cables? If you find yourself working from the broom closet again, just remember: it’s not a "broom closet," it’s a Cozy Collaboration Pod™.

​Efficiency: Our North Star
​While you are busy creating value for our institutional investors, I have been busy ideating. To ensure we are squeezing every drop of "lemonade" out of our human capital, I am thrilled to announce several Employee Wellness & Productivity Initiatives for Q1:
​Bio-Break Benchmarking: We’ve noticed a slight dip in keystrokes during mid-morning. To help you stay on track, we are installing "Smart-Flush" sensors. If a restroom visit exceeds the mandated 120-second "Standard Relief Window," an automated alert will be sent to your manager to discuss your time-management skills.

​The "Big Wael" Policy: In the spirit of your favorite office slang, we’re aiming for maximum efficiency in all... movements. If you’re going to "take a Big Wael," please ensure you’ve pre-filed a "Functional Downtime" request. We wouldn't want your lack of productivity to be as disappointing as a stagnant stock price.

​Oxygen Optimization: Studies show that humans exhale carbon dioxide, which is bad for the environment (and our ESG score). We are considering a "Breath-Per-Minute" tax to encourage calm, shallow, and highly efficient respiration while at your desks.

​Vertical Desking: Why sit or stand when you can lean? We are replacing chairs with 75-degree padded planks to ensure no one gets too comfortable. Comfort is the enemy of the 52-week high.

​Looking Ahead
​Remember, every time you struggle to find a functional mouse or spend 45 minutes looking for a stapler, a shareholder somewhere gets their wings (or a slightly larger dividend). You aren't just "employees"; you are the fuel we burn to reach the moon.

​Now, stop reading this and get back to your Teams call. I can see your "Active" status flickering from here.

​In Solidarity (With the Board),
​The CEO

Get ready leadership ping pong 🏓 starts

There are so many enablers on my team and so much ridiculous office politics that bad behavior seems encouraged. Previous managers weren’t much better, and overall competence has been lacking. How these people keep getting hired and promoted is beyond me. You’d think any corporation would prefer managers who boost performance, not ones who infest teams with toxicity and waste.

Except for Sheety, Jon Freier, Mike Katz, Jeff Simon, and Deanne.

Will there be layoff? No.
But I know somebody will post this thread.
Let's just talk about it.

These mo--ns are working among us. Let that sink in.

Has anyone heard of any layoffs going to be happening in Burlington to get us to all fit? I don't know how there going to fit us all in. What's the word someone had to know something.

If this town hall is representative of how the Mass Markets organization is run, it’s a real $hit $how over there.

Title. Drop deets if you have any.

Incredible what Ricoh sticks on the fridge. Sandwiched between Lexmark and Xerox... so very press release worthy. So very useless.
https://www.ricoh.com/info/2025/1215_1

Found a management person was having an affair. I never said a word till now. But did my accidental discovery cause my layoff?

You sh-t managers stand out like a sore thumb. You’re not fooling anyone. We’re the people who actually make this company run, and it’s wild to hear you talk about “making things better” while your incompetence makes everything worse. You don’t solve problems—you create them, turning simple work into chaos with pointless rules, useless meetings, and half-baked changes that ignore how the job is actually done. You push out good employees, destroy morale, and replace real experience with your little circle of sh-t managers, then act surprised when everything falls apart. You take credit when things go right, dump blame when they don’t, and when things don’t go your way you sound like a cry baby instead of a leader. You expect respect you never earned, you don’t know sh-t, you don’t listen, and you don’t lead—and we all see you exactly for the joke you are.

Which one is more accurate?

There's a fresh wa-ker strutting into town, handed the keys to International on a silver platter like he's won the bloody lottery. And what does our heroic new overlord do? Bu---r all in the way of actually selling anything, of course.
Instead, the daft sod's obsessed with poring over every sodding line in the SFDC opportunity updates, picking at them with the sort of OCD paranoia that'd make a conspiracy theorist blush. Proper control-freak territory, innit?
To top it off, he's an arrogant bellend who's being an absolute cvnt to customers (never mind the poor sods who work for him). Charming bloke, clearly.
Mark my words, this pillock's going to hammer the final nail into Avaya International's coffin. Either he'll get the boot by the end of H1 for missing his numbers by a country mile, or he'll manage to torch half the business in the process.
Frankly, I'm not convinced PD or ML give a toss about International anymore if they're willing to serve it up to this manchild on a plate. What a shower of sh-t.

.......
OR
.......

Another absolute genius has been parachuted in to run International, handed the whole bloody kingdom like he’s the second coming of Steve Jobs. And what’s his masterstroke, you ask? Sweet fu-k all when it comes to actually shifting any product, naturally.
No, our fearless leader’s true calling is to hover over every single poxy line in the SFDC opportunity updates like a proper obsessive-compulsive hawk, nitpicking with the sort of deranged paranoia that’d make your average flat-earther look well-adjusted. Top-tier management material, clearly.
And the charm! Christ alive, the man’s an arrogant, swaggering bellend who treats customers like something he’s scraped off his shoe—and that’s on a good day. The staff? Mere peasants fit only for a daily bollocking.
Give it a few months and this utter we-pon will personally drive the final, glittering nail into Avaya International’s already knackered coffin with a flourish. Either he’ll get spectacularly sacked by the end of H1 for missing his numbers by a galactic margin (shocker), or he’ll somehow contrive to incinerate half the business before anyone notices. Either way, a triumph.
Honestly, if PD and ML are happy to lob the entire region to this tantrum-throwing manchild on a silver salver, it’s blindingly obvious they couldn’t give a flying toss about International anymore. What an absolutely magnificent shower of sh-t. Well played, everyone.

Srini?

Why is it that every Teams meeting with the mothership has 9 people in Dallas who weren't on the original invite? I mean there are 4 on the invite and 13 show up.

They have no idea what's going on, they don't need to be there, and they ki-l the meeting result by asking ridiculously stupid questions. It's like the kid on the PeeWee football or Little League team that never got into the game jumping into a mud puddle to look like they played.

And yes, there ARE stupid questions.

Will they track both Badge In and Badge out?
If so, say goodbye to Coffee Badging.
Your time locked in the zoo will be tracked.

That is all Stankey is doing

Is that true?

Management just took our lunch table and barricaded the printer access with it. Apparently they are going to sit their all shift and we cannot present a quote without their approval. Half expecting the bathroom access next and cant gain access until sell a BYOD+

Real players are Aruba going forward, and he's the guy where they pull the string on his back and watch the show for a few minutes. You can tell he's just copying himself, wondering how to get a seat at the adults table for the big dinner.

At this point I would like to say nuke all the workforce and start from fresh, coz I've seen some particular orgs being rotten for decades with politics and performance is no way factored into firing and less competent folks are prevailing, yoo eh, this is the golden opportunity, create a business continuity plan and then nuke all the work force and hire / rehire need as you go basis - twitter did the same, why not Nike...iykyk

What if we had Olympic Games for Managers and above? Categories would include:
1- Reporting your dubious achievements through rose tinted glasses
2- Schmoozing your peers and superiors while neglecting your own department
3- Running your team ragged while having little to no impact
4- Promoting as many unqualified people as possible
5- Running around like a chicken with its head cut off
6- Failing up

Do you know any potential gold medalists?

Is this everywhere?

How was the party? Did anyone show up? Did LC pat himself on the back for being so great like in the town hall?

If you’ve been crushed by the toxicity of this company - know you aren’t alone. This is a culturally unhealthy organization ruled by politics and very bad decisions at the top to middle of house. The management here is a total joke, ruled by their own self interests. Share your own stories of how messed up your time at this company has been below. 👏🏽

CPC is this week, what is the drama from any who are attending?

Trying to split britive permissions down to granular level based on what a random vp in cyber thinks a developer does. Fails to account for the fact we've been doing every role since frank's reign of te---r. I for one am going to feel great saying I cant do the work because cyber says it's not my responsibility

I thought dan was trying to cut costs?

So let me get this straight...they have 150 locations minimum that are in need of renovations which include carpet, paint, new wrap stand and MOLD removal, but now they are going to open 2 new concept stores for rich people expecting them to pivot to Belk brands? Impressive leadership around these parts..

Time for hundreds to go sit in a war room and pretend like it’s the 80’s and we don’t have laptops to support from home. Put on a smile, wear holiday sweatshirts and pretend to be honored when leaders show up or in the case of MD send a video of thanks from Seattle.
Everyone gather for a photo to be shared in the all hands and come to work sick next week from the shared germs. Happy Holidays

If you aren't failing upwards, you aren't doing it right.

Team GM means going on vacation a week before your big project is due, so your work is reassigned to someone who will take the blame.
Team GM means walking around with a GM logo on your coffee cup, wearing official GM branded clothing and having the latest GMC truck.
Team GM means going on linkedin, and making a show of how much you love GM products.
Team GM means attending meetings of projects you are barely contributing to, so that you can challenge the meeting organizer with new problems that aren't even part of the discussion.
Team GM means asking lots of questions at the end of each meeting, especially staff meetings to extend the meeting and prove your loyalty, interest and importance to everyone in earshot.
Team GM means being a true believer that the company would collapse if you left, and that despite the fact that you do almost nothing, you are working your tail off.
Team GM means that your entire identity is tied into working at GM and your role at GM. You will tell anyone that didn't ask that you work at GM.

Did everyone see an EA position just opened up in BR? I am sure there was someone more than qualified that was just RIFed that could have been retained. It's disgusting to make people flock to one single position in the hope they are not taken off payroll.

I am glad to walk away from this place.

Hi everyone,
has anyone noticed that our job titles are now showing up directly in MS Teams?

Previously, if you wanted to check someone’s job title, you had to go into SuccessMap and look at their public profile. Now, when you open a manager’s org chart in Teams, you can see all team members and their job titles right away — which also makes it easy to infer their job (T) level.

This seems like a deliberate change, but I haven’t seen any communication about it.

Does anyone know why this was enabled or what the reasoning behind it might be? Curious to hear your thoughts.

Without going into too much detail, it’s been a disappointing journey. To come so far after a highly anticipated merger and to be here. Toxicity. Low morale. Same office politics. And a tough market.

For those of you in East Coast who never got meeting invite this morning . -
then you are safe until Tuesday Dec 9

Duplication -will those roles be gone?
Admins?
Cashiers?

Hi Folks

Thanks for all your hard work and efforts through the year, without you we would be nowhere. I meant even without paying you were still in business.

I know your complaining about the pay, and last minute holiday debacle but the HR women isnt upto it, still we got her an award, we know where to spend the money.

Us execs are doing are last flights and free trips, i meant holidays, around the world for this year. Phew clocked up some points.

Ignore the ten 10 other happy holidays emails your going to get as were spending your money.

Best wishes R & Cam

Looking forward(not) to all the brown nosing and but kissing the will commence into overdrive in the coming days for those that are left. People jockeying for attention so that they may not be named in the next round.

This is crazy. West coast news will starting hitting within the hour.