#humor

Sometimes this is how I feel.

https://youtu.be/S8ICNUgNbRk?is=69uJU8n_AhMT-mhC

This is comedic gold. Just too much irony. Drop your best jokes in the comments

will keep quacking quacking until it takes everything down with it!

And you thought I was the problem. LMAO

I have a $7m net worth, two paid off homes. I still kind of don't want to be laid off after 25 years. I have $400k of unvested stock which means I make $400k a year the next 3 years. How about all you other Intellionaires?

The translation of every phrase I’ve heard in here
"I see leadership potential."
real meaning: you’ll blindly accept more responsibility than your peers.
"Take ownership." Real meaning : the problem is now yours.
"Great visibility opportunity." : Lots of people will know if it goes wrong.
"Development opportunity." :Extra work instead of extra pay.
"We're empowering you.": You own the outcome but not the decisions.
"Stretch assignment." This is my favourite :): 
Do the next level job without the pay of next level title.
"You're a key member of the team." : We really don't want you leaving.
"Let's discuss promotion next cycle." : Please stay motivated for another six months as that what I’m being evaluated on.
"We need you where you are." you’re too useful for to promote right now.
"Thank you for your flexibility." We've noticed you don't say no. lol!

After reading these threads, I will never see puffer vest the same way again! LOL 😂🤣🤣

Played without any irony at all of course.

I work here and its a great place!

I started a McDonald’s franchise where I get steady yet decent income. I no longer stress about layoffs. I just hope you guys can come to my McDonald’s buy my Big Macs!

Wish they had a better dress sense for the “Global Townhall.” I’ve seen McDonald’s managers dress better than these executives. 😂

So please don't go (to Ameriprise), don't go
Don't go away
Please don't go, don't go
I'm begging you to stay (at your job)

Maybe we shouldnt worry about layoffs, we'll all be gone anyway.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ckgwy1k42w4o

The cringe level is off the charts in this one hahaha

I know it's to micromanage us to death but the fact that we need a dozen apps to put cookies on the shelf is hysterical. This isn't some fancy job it's a simple physical job. Order cookies. Put cookies on shelf. It's ridiculous.

Sadly all too familiar - https://www.facebook.com/reel/907707882030791

Time for the trimester update!

Predictions:

• PP may or may not be there, but will at the very least have a pre-recorded message and be wearing a blazer with at no less than 3 gaudy colors.
• The phrase "We hear you, we feel you..." will get overused.

What do you predict?

Our indian friend Arvind is about to anounce the rename of the company to International Id--ts Machines.

This name sounds so much better according to the current situstion of the company plently of id--ts.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/jcW-WvVGWuU

Just noticed this as a headline on the Intranet, had to click on it and was expecting some great motivational words of wisdom from DW, but no this was talking about rebooting your computer twice per week.

Just noticed this as a headline on the Intranet, had to click on it and was expecting some great motivational words of wisdom from DW, but no this was talking about rebooting your computer twice per week.

Just checking in on my old Crown family. I hear things are going… great.

Culture at an all-time low.
More reorgs. More layoff rumors.
Eight job openings.
Stock anxiety.
People asking, “Why are you still here?”
And apparently SpaceX may need 1.5 MILLION small cells.

😳

Now I’m not saying I told y’all so about small cells…

But I did tell y’all so about small cells.

Repeatedly.

Then Elliott showed up and apparently somebody decided, “You know what this company needs? LESS GROWTH.”

Bold strategy. 😂

Back in my day we had towers, fiber, small cells, arguments, problems, purple everywhere — and somehow people still did the damn work.

Now I’m reading headlines like:

“Crown Culture at an All-Time Low”
“What’s Next?”
“Stock is Suffering”
“Hollow Words and Heavy Workloads”
“Why Are You Still Here?”

Good Lord, people. I leave for a minute… 😂

Meanwhile, I’m doing great.

Building homes for families with my buddy David and friends. 🏠
Raising six kids.
Helping save babies.
Trying to do the work the Lord calls me to do.

Turns out I may have picked a pretty good time to leave corporate America.

But I genuinely miss y’all — and I’ll always have a soft spot for the years we spent Living the Purple Life. 💜

Which does leave me with one question:

What color are y’all living now?

Because judging by these headlines, it sure as he-l ain’t purple.

Love y’all.
— Your boy JayB

Is the only word that can describe PayPal

I mean we match on colors and both have a clowns running the show.

This video popped on in my queue yesterday by comedian Mike Polk talking about the Cleveland Browns. He refers to the stadium as a Factory of Sadness.

https://youtu.be/tRBDMMVctu8?is=tXMzBXiPacbMlXNI

And I thought holy $hit, that’s Wells Fargo. A factory of sadness.

LOL. They got tired of planting employee questions from the audience. Playing Jeopardy - made up their own questions to answer. Too funny.

Everybody at IBM should be tokenmaxing, or bobcoinmaxing… it does not matter what you do with Bob , make sure you use all your Bob coins every month.

🍲 Starter: Jargon soup
🍽️ Main course: Store visits
🥗 Side: Scorecard salad — results free
🍰 Dessert: Scoops of accents

Fortress of solitude

https://youtube.com/shorts/XK3xIjofxZ0?is=uJCfw1x5fbsKjKyW

Wow.. For someone who went to Brown.....

It's funny to thing that Legg thinks he is the next CEO

https://x.com/RespectfulMemes/status/2091276978003546205

Find this funny and ironic this notification going on for months on the employee IT support slack channel. Looks like Ai agents ate going a great job after getting rid of humans.

Our CEO didn’t get GM initials for nothing .

G.M:
Good Man
Great Mentor
Generous millionaire
Giving Man
Godly Man
Good-looking man
Even “My Guy”is GM backwards lol

As Tina would sing … Your simply the best..🎶🎶🎶 Better than all the rest 🎶🎶
Better than anyone… anyone I’ve ever met!

And to all the fat and miserable haters from Minnesota, go back to McDonalds, get a happy meal !LOL

1) Why are you simping for your executive overlords?

2) How does the boot taste?

3) Do you salt the leather?

4) Do you prefer the heel or the toe?

Asking for a friend. TIA!

🤫

Just saying, so much fluff OMG

U of M should be DIMBY (Datacenter In My Back Yard). The students will get faster Chat GPT results with the datacenter so close.

Since you're reading this.

Men are leaving the workforce at alarming rates, threatening social stability.

44.07 million eligible men are not in the labor force, an increase of 9 million since 2012.

The workforce participation rate for men dropped to 66.8%, the lowest since 1948.