Ah, the newest corporate gospel has arrived. Another “inspirational” RTO email reminding us that being in the office builds connection — which is ironic, considering I haven’t connected to anyone except the guy who keeps stealing my chair.
Leadership preaches “collaboration,” but what they really mean is: we signed leases, now fill the seats.
They’ve got family photos, doors, and flexible calendars; we’ve got assigned burnout.
The new buzzword of the week? “Ten toes down.” Cute. I guess that’s easy to say when your toes aren’t in traffic for two hours a day.
Every line of these emails reads like it was generated by a bot trained on stale HR slogans. “Culture!” “Teamwork!” “Innovation!” — all while the rest of us are juggling hot desks, dropped calls, and existential dread.
If they actually believed in teamwork, they’d try working by the same rules they force on everyone else.
Until then, spare us the sermons and just call it what it is: office rent recovery.