Thread regarding Verizon Communications Inc. layoffs

Typical day in the life of a cubicle monkey

  1. Roll out of bed wondering who the person next to you is

  2. Spend 90 minutes fixing hair, shaving chest, matching socks to tie

  3. Go through Starbucks and order "the usual"

  4. Get to work, stare at reflection in the monitor for 30 minutes

  5. Play Angry Birds while stuck on a 2-hour conference call

  6. Work on 70 pages of spreadsheets looking really busy. Sigh loudly so cube mate knows you're alive

  7. Lunchtime!!! Drink wheat germ muscle shake in front of everyone and sneak snickers bar on way back to desk

  8. Conduct presentation. Muscle milk is starting to make its self known with deep rumbles

  9. Hide out in bathroom for a while, maybe rubbing one out if time permits

  10. Stand at water fountain gossiping for an hour

  11. Leave 30 minutes to get close parking spot at gym

  12. Work out for 20 minutes then walk around gym for another hour looking at yourself in the mirror

  13. Screw the wheat germ shake, I'm going to McDonald's for dinner!

  14. Arrive home to empty house because wife left you while on EWA

  15. Look on Craigslist for a date

Repeat

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| 1314 views | | 15 replies (last June 2, 2016) | Reply
Post ID: @OP+HGSHvrb

15 replies (most recent on top)

I'm not ashamed to admit I've done #9. Several time lol. Who else has done it? Come on, let's be honest lol

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Post ID: @1ytk+HGSHvrb

This person must have been spying on me, but#15- never.LMAO

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Post ID: @1gqu+HGSHvrb

@ipmv I guarantee just about every guy who reads this has done that one at least once lol!! Union or EWA, we're all still guys haha

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Post ID: @1znh+HGSHvrb

Oh and I DEFINATELY did #9 a few times in west chester haha

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Post ID: @1pmv+HGSHvrb

This one was good, but I'm a pole monkey sert and have to admit I've done a few of those back in the days before we used to get suspended for em! Ha

Oh yeah started out in west Chester rmcc so did some of these back in the day too...

turn your light on! Ah, friggin Marlo

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Post ID: @1vpr+HGSHvrb

I've read both posts like 5 times and laugh every time lol. I swear I know these guys haha

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Post ID: @1cpr+HGSHvrb

You forgot checking eBay for my new computer parts.... Calling car dealers for new 7 series pricing...possibly negotiate a deal to pick it up in Germany... Plan summer trip in Europe... And check my Marriott points I tripled during EWA and spend 2 hours everyday at physical therapy for back pain from climbing poles and lifting heavy asstool bags and driving stupid trucks during EWA .... And the best take time off to recover from PTSD from EWA😉😉😉

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Post ID: @1euj+HGSHvrb

Hats off to OP of this and the monkey pole. Made me belly laugh!

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Post ID: @pzg+HGSHvrb

Ok this really made me laugh. This and the union monkey post both made me laugh. I think you nailed the worst of all of us lol. Standing ovation!

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Post ID: @sac+HGSHvrb

@ape right?? So glad to be home!

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Post ID: @qse+HGSHvrb

You forgot the part where I check my bank account everyday and smile. Thank god I'm not working in the field anymore, office jobs pay better.

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Post ID: @ape+HGSHvrb

Classic!

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Post ID: @mac+HGSHvrb

Hilarious! And pretty freaking accurate lol

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Post ID: @ecy+HGSHvrb

Hahaha so there's the life of the EWA guys. I was fair and just as brutal and honest as I was with the union one. We're all one team again, so might as well laugh at ourselves. Have a good day everyone and I hope this and my previous post give you a little smile for the day

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Post ID: @tnc+HGSHvrb

LOL

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Post ID: @edt+HGSHvrb

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