Scene: Doors of the Canonsburg office swing open. Three members of the Lollipop Guild emerge, wearing matching puffy vests, untarnished hard hats, purple sneakers, and holding enormous lollipops. Behind them, a banner reads: "Congratulations on your retirement! Please don't come back."
Lollipop Guild member #1:
"Yinz gather 'round. The day we dreamed of has arrived!"
Lollipop Guild member #2:
"Wake up, you sleepyheads, get out of bed! The nightmare of meetings and micromanagement is dead! "
Lollipop Guild member #3:
"No more surprise calls at half past three! No more, 'Let's circle back' endlessly! No more impossible deadlines to meet! No more getting tossed under the bus in the street!"
Lollipop Guild member #1:
"They would ask a bunch questions and change plans on Friday after four, then ask why the numbers weren't better than before!"
Lollipop Guild member #2:
"To your face, they would treat you like family with a smile so sweet, then cut three departments before we could eat"
All in song:
"Ding do-g, the exec is gone!"