Thread regarding Dell Inc. layoffs

How many Dell PMs does it take to implement a feature?

How many Dell PMs does it take to implement a feature?

Ten minimum

  • One PM to ask engineering what features they’re working on given the PM roadmap is just whatever engineering accidentally mentions in Slack.

  • One PM to get permission from engineering to talk about the feature followed by a mandatory disclaimer from engineering stating no commitments or guarantees the feature will actually be delivered.

  • One PM to break the feature into 13 micro‑features so engineering can ship 1.5 micro stories per quarter and claim iterative customer value even though it doesn't work yet.

  • One PM to update the roadmap no one sees, trusts, or uses because it changes so often it’s basically a weather forecast.

  • One PM to create a 67‑page PowerPoint deck his manager will present as if he personally invented the feature, the product, and possibly storage itself.

  • One PM to plan the release date four years from now, which will later be delayed because engineering discovered “unexpected feature creep."

  • One PM to schedule a customer advisory call to validate the feature, then ignore all feedback because engineering thinks the customer is wrong.

  • One PM to rename the feature three times so marketing can claim it’s AI‑enhanced.

  • One PM to write the requirement and five more PMs to argue whether the requirement should exist at all or be replaced with a vision statement.

  • One PM to present the feature in an exec review where leadership will ask why it isn’t already shipping, why it isn’t generating $400M ARR, and why it doesn’t run on ARM.


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| 11 views | | 6 replies (last 1 minute ago) | Reply
Post ID: @OP+1kyvpype1

6 replies (most recent on top)

I actually am a PM and this is pretty damn funny ... and accurate ... and industry wide.

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Post ID: @dh+1kyvpype1

@am PMs are useless no matter what ethnicity. Get rid of all of them, save a sh-t ton of $$$$$ and watch things run smoother.

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Post ID: @c3+1kyvpype1

Nailed it!

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Post ID: @ar+1kyvpype1

Welcome to India

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Post ID: @am+1kyvpype1

one PM to only say "circle-back" all day.

circle-back
circle-back
circle-back
circle-back
circle-back
circle-back
circle-back
circle-back

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Post ID: @ak+1kyvpype1

Thank you for the layoff information.

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Post ID: @af+1kyvpype1

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