My sister who lives and works in the UK was written out in her 8th month of pregnancy due to pre-eclampsia and being dialated 1-2 cm. She was put on bed rest. She had a beautiful baby shower and everyone was excited for the new bundle of joy to arrive.
At a regular check up, there was no heart beat. My sister had to give birth to her son and leave the hospital with no baby in her arms. This was followed by a funeral of the utmost heart wrenching loss you could ever imagine. Her husband carried the small coffin down the aisle and placed it at the front of the church. The crying and absolute devastation was unbearable to see by all. Family, friends and coworkers all rallied around her.
My sister was in a severe depression for over a year. She needed and received mental help and was put on medications to help ease the suffering and depression. I did not recognize my sister physically and she had broken emotionally and was not the same after the death of her son. Her eyes were lifeless, she barely functioned to get out of the bed to shower or eat.
Living in the UK, she had benefits that covered everything. She was paid a full salary for a year and her job was held until she could return, that is the difference between the UK and USA regarding maternity leave and parental bonding. Even though her son died, she was still granted the leave to recover. Her husband was also granted paternity leave for 6 months, as they both were grieving and both need the time to heal, go to counseling and get the psychological care they needed. To this day he is still haunted by carrying that little coffin down the aisle of the church.
Imagine walking past a lovingly decorated nursery and crib with gifts piled high and all the lovely things that were purchased for the new baby in your home and seeing it empty with no baby.
She went back to her exact job a year later, healthier and stable. Her employer welcomed her return and her team all rallied around her. Her husband went back to work after 12 weeks, his way of dealing with loss was much different than hers, as he wanted to stay busy to keep his mind off the grief and loss.
Our benefits here in the USA are quite different. Standard Maternity Leave is 6-8 weeks. Sometimes 8-12 weeks for a c-section or multiple birth. Then mothers are forced back to work within the 12 weeks of FMLA or risk losing their job, livelihood, medical benefits and much more. Many companies do not offer parental leave or parents bonding time for mothers or fathers.
The standard Bereavement leave is 2 weeks or 10 business days.
Now imagine if my sister and her husband lived and worked in the USA what her experience would have been after an unspeakable and devastating loss.
I ask that you give those on true Medical Leave compassion and understanding. While Mental Illness does not happen overnight, a traumatizing event like that can trigger PTSD, depression and anxiety.