Don't forget to respond to the VOW - looks like they "want to hear from us" (But, do they want to know how we really feel!?!)
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From what I have been hearing the last couple of years, I am surprised that HP is still in existence. Thank god I retired 10 years ago
"HPE is actually a good place to START your career, but you had better NOT plan on having ANY job security, or chances of advancement! "
This is correct. Take a job at HPE as college. Learn and then leave, Maybe 5 years tops.
Back in the day, I was always honest with the VOW. "Would you take a job with a similar pay/benefits". Well, many of my co workers were WFR'ed so, Yea. If someone wants to hire me for similar pay/benefits, it means they want me, and don't consider me a liability. As a customer engineer, we were either VALUED or VOLUME. Well, ALL CE's are gone. If you HPE Computer breaks, the fixer won't be from HPE. Fill out the VOW but if you need the job, praise HPE.
Check it over for possible VOW inputs material… IF ye are BRAVE!
Dead Mice Float in HPE’s Punch Bowl… And All HPE Does, is Tidy Up The OUTSIDE of the Bowl
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HPE is actually a good place to START your career, but you had better NOT plan on having ANY job security, or chances of advancement! The longer you stay, the higher your chances of being laid-off and black-listed forever… So do NOT get old at HPE! Bail out ASAP after getting a bit of experience… They don’t pay you any better for your getting better at your job, anyway. I have seen more unicorns than I have seen raises at HPE.
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HPE is like an ultra-low-budget party thrown in a warehouse. There’s lots of TALK about respecting the employees, yada-yada, but nada-nada actions that actually show respect for the peons. The mice scamper in the rafters above the punchbowl at night, and no one can be bothered to change out (or at least cover) the punchbowl, or its contents. So it should be no surprise that clumsy mice fall into the punch bowl, die, and rot. HPE management fears a “scene” if the men in the hazmat suits come in to clean out the insides of the punch bowl… This proper fix attracts too much attention. So they throw in a few sprigs of parsley to cover the dead mice, they spray some deodorant around, and then they put up a few more party banners and fancy labels on the punch bowl, and expect that all will be well. They’re surprised when the employees keep on noticing the dead mice in the punch bowl! … So what ARE these “dead mice” at HPE, you ask? OK, let’s jot down the biggest of them… 1) Greedy execs. Rumors at HPE say that they are not happy with “merely” their giant stock options. Their long-term plans may be to split the company into ever-smaller units, so that they can finally be sold (in tiny pieces) to any willing buyers, so that top executives can get “golden parachutes” to make all of that happen. … 2) Sub-standard and stagnant pay for the “worker bees”. … 3) “Bell curve” performance reviews, which encourage you to make the others look bad, so that you can look good. Your competitor-enemy is your co-worker; the enemy is NOT bad HPE product quality, or other companies that compete with HPE! … 4) Constant layoffs (of experienced job veterans, who are then black-listed), followed near-immediately by hiring younger and / or off-shored replacements, ad/or H-1Bs. For some reason, HPE management thinks that constant “churn” and constantly training new hires will somehow hoodwink HPE investors into thinking that HPE is getting better via lower costs, while HPE’s deliveries of quality products continue to tank. … Pretended “fixes” to the outside of the punch bowl include VOW (Voice Of the Workforce) surveys, where they pretend to listen to workers. Also the likes of “We (pretend to) appreciate you” HPE decorative pens, mice pads, water bottles, coffee mugs, fingernail clippers, etc. They’d try awarding us with toothpicks (tootHPEicks?) if the HPE logo could be made to fit onto the toothpicks, I suspect. PS… The rodent pests are not entirely metaphorical. At least 1 building at HPE Houston is currently or recently suffering from a rat infestation, as happens repeatedly at HPE from time to time.
…(Suggestions)
Send in the Dead-Mice-Busters (AKA the decontamination squad) in their hazmat suits, and clean out the INSIDE of the punch bowl, please! Sure, it will attract more attention… But HPE will be better off in the long run.
If you aren't honest, don't expect ANYTHING to change. At the same time, don't expect anything to change either. Management will focus in on "we need brighter lights for a better working environment" and ignore "upper management is inept and keeps getting us into more trouble."
We hear you ... here's more lights.
The VOW means nothing! I really do not know why they waste their time!
the opening of the VOW makes me vomit every year. Cursor on the far left side, as always since many years. I am so disappointed to see how HP (now HPE) considers its employees, and so sad becazuse no sign that it will change soon. I'm not in Houston, another reason to not be happy. However, in Houston, are they happy ?
"Apparently the survey says 'Confidential' and not 'Anonymous' as in the years past. This means HR can associate each response to a unique individual. Sneaky."
I never believed those surveys are anonymous, and neither did my US based colleagues. Back when I was still at HP, when the survey results came back the Europeans would invariably flame HP while we Americans would politely say that we were "satisfied". This was during MH's reign of terror.
Apparently the survey says 'Confidential' and not 'Anonymous' as in the years past. This means HR can associate each response to a unique individual. Sneaky.
Backpacking in Montana, you say? Eat some bitter roots for me! Check it out and see if it is true that bitter roots go better with butter!
Well, ok for all that rambling. As for me, I am going backpacking in Montana.
Time to move on. I am grateful for the time at HP (7years), had hope to retire. Put forth the effort on the Team-Play Team, never did well with the Backtabbery, always hoped that as Mr. Weasley would say "The Truth will out". I wish my colleagues well, get what you can, act in a way to feel good in your own skin (not a constantly shedding snake skin), then search for your next position outside of the HP-Warts. All of what you see at HP-Warts is repeated elsewhere in a smaller scale, take what you have learned, protect yourself just so you can help others. Always remember, Work is not your home. Keep your family and friends first, they are the ones who will be there when you move on. Don't decorate your desk - keep your running shoes around your neck, you will need them. But really, its ok. Its fun to get back on the road - just make sure this time, it is on your own terms.
HP Wart Vetran
You’ve got way too much time on your hands.
nice.....but I won't claim I understood all of it :-) I guess Voldemort another name for the emperor?
Here, put this in for VOW, Voice of the Wizards, I dare ye!
At HP-Warts School of Compucraft and Wizardry, Voldemort Rules With an Iron Fist
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Yes, it is sadly true that, at HP-Warts School of Compucraft and Wizardry, Voldemort rules, and Harry Potter is dead. He was dead yesterday, and today he is still dead. By all the known rules in this universe and many others, he will still be dead tomorrow. However, there remains a scant smattering of good news… Some few of Harry’s friends still carry on, hoping that someday, teamplay spells will once again triumph against backstabbing spells.
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There are only two remaining “Houses” at HP-Warts School of Compucraft and Wizardry… The House of Backstabbery, and the House of Teamplay. Voldemort has cast a spell called “Forced Distribution on Grades”, which gives vast advantages to the students from the House of Backstabbery. When these ambitious strivers want a “B” or an “A” grade, they must make their classmates look bad enough to get a “D” or an “F”… So they steal the homework of others, and turn it in as their own, and set others up for failure, and simply put their own selfish interests ahead of those of the school, and ahead of decency in general. In the face of this, the House of Pacifism (consisting in former, better days, of those who would NOT fight back, in any way, against the House of Backstabbery’s students, because, well, um, documenting and denouncing the backstabbing ways of your fellow students, can be called bad teamplay)… the House of Pacifism is no more. All these students have been permanently expelled, after they lost out to the Backstabbers. To make matters worse, Voldemort prohibits the cast-out students from EVER returning… Not even as janitors or groundskeepers. Rumor has it that next, Voldemort wants to vindictively ban such lepers from even working for suppliers of HP-Warts; from even doing so much as selling a wand or a pencil to the school.
So the students from the House of Teamplay have been forced to spend extra study time to document gross incidents of non-teamplay, by their fellow students, and to show such things to their professors. They still lose to the House of Backstabbery, on a regular basis, because of favoritism. After all, we all know what Voldemort is in favor of, and Professors want to get ahead, too!
In the VOW (Voice of the Wizards) survey, the teamplayers have frequently alerted Voldemort that all of this is VERY bad for the School, and is a straight-forward result of the “Forced Distribution on Grades” spell. But Voldemort has no nose, so he nose nothing! He does not WANT to nose anything! VOW, then, is a waste of time, providing nothing more than the illusion of being listened to. Most of those with noses, nose this… Or, will figure it out soon enough.
The students and the Professors alike, constantly have to be re-training new replacement students, because of the constant expelling and permanent black-listing of former students. As soon as a new student actually learns how things work, and how to get better grades, the impact of the backstabbers (who constantly made fun of the new student while he or she “learned the ropes” for the last few months or years) will be felt, and they will be expelled. Then the cycle must be repeated on a new replacement student. Thus Spake Voldemort; Thus Must It Be Done!
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Voldemort should be expelled. That, I know, is asking too-too much. Then the “Forced Distribution on Grades” spell should be countermanded, as should be also, the black-listing spell. That, too, is expecting too much out of the likes of Voldemort, I suspect. Then the VERY least that we can realistically ask for, is that some brave soul, somewhere, should explain to Voldemort, that if for no other reason other than preserving His Own Power and Glory (which will die when HP-Warts dies), Teamplay should be rewarded at least as much as Backstabbery. Else all will be lost, and soon!