Greetings Young Millennials, Lowell Mcadam here.
Do you enjoy the deep thoughts of Sean Hannity?
Do you spend your day working in an office cubicle, eating takeout and taking orders from the boss while envisioning yourself as some kind of independent frontiersman who relies on no one?
Do you own a racy picture of Ayn Rand?
Is Bill Lumbergh a personal hero to you?
Do you wish someone would put the uppity working classes in their place?
If so, then Verizon is the communications company for you!
Here at Verizon, we find Commies like Bernie Sanders "contemptible"
We don't like that new Pope either.
So come on down and join us at Verizon, sure our plan may cost a little more, but that's how we keep out the riff raff, after all we are not some utility with responsibilities to the public.
Verizon...at last a wireless company for the Fashionable Young Conservative!