Dear Verizon Associates,
We have been making more money than we could have ever imagined fleecing customers on the wireless side for so many years with really no regulation. We have tried our best to look poor on paper by purchasing useless companies and don't forget the state of the art logo transition that has really blown people away. As a result we need to cut back and take the money out of your end, because really where else can we go. You don't think we are going to take a pay cut do you??? Haha, that's cute? We all need to make sacrifices in these tough economic times. By we I mean you guys, not us at upper management we have bills to pay and children to feed. You lower class folks probably waste all your money on cheap booze and cigarettes and dinners at Applebee's. Yuck. Sorry . I just threw up in my mouth thinking about the one time I ate at Applebee's when I was middle class scrub. Anyway, that is all for now hope everyone stays motivated to do their jobs after this pep talk. Talk to you soon, I am at the country club ready to tee off. All of this typing is so hard. I am exhausted.
Love ,
Mark Reed