RSI Guard. Good thing it reminds me to breath
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Big sexy.
You know what really grinds my gears? Looking around at some of the wastes of skin who can't even respectfully return emails, and just knowing that they are probably going to be on the survivor list.
All the posters that would hang in the hallways. Examples: employee standing, coworkers pushing a cart together, proper arm placement for mousing. Oh and another thing: mousing being a verb. I have never ever ever heard the word mousing before chevron ergo people started using it.
Going through rom, going through RAE, going to nojv...
I know this is terrible but I won't miss all the kool aid drinkers that thought they were safe and kept giving me bs words of encouragement when I was put in round one and now they can't stop whining now that there position is now open/eliminated. Did any of them ever look at the oil prices? Did they really believe all was fine? I get trying to be optimistic but sometimes silence would be preferred over ignorance.
The color chart in the restroom posted over the foul-smelling waterless urinal with shades of yellow to remind you that you are dehydrated.
OE is me.
OE is me.
I won't miss all the bullshit recognitions in the meetings for someone finally doing what they were paid to do in the first place. Having all those meetings about having meetings. Watching everyone make up and pencil whip BBS. Oh and “OE” what a crock of shit same as “We Lead”. Upper mgmt should try what they preach. I won't miss watching the ass kissers throw people under the bus that are a threat to them. Seeing people move up because they're the screw ups.
The horrible "holiday parties", with pathetic execs trying to look like they give a rats ass about all 300 of the people who are trying to leave as soon as possible. The games at those parties, the hideous, landfill producing aforementioned swag stuffed in those "goodie bags" and the nasty food...last year in San Ramon we has reheated donuts topped with Walmart ice cream to top off this event. Bullshit!
That utterly risible "We Agree" campaign costing millions and making us a laughing stock !
All of the FU**ING ACRONYMS!
I am glad to know that I was not the only one completely fabricating th bbs feedback. Csoc is another meaningless process. PMP, complete bullshit. Your boss like you? 2, your boss doesn't like you, 2-. I won't miss the acronyms either.
All those annoying "Action Required" emails from Ariba, SART, SAP, SOX etc.
I find it ironic, weird, twisted or totally f*cked up that chevron used the completely worthless CPDEP process to facilitate Project alpha, tiger,etc. To determine layoffs. The meaningless processes that make every MCP take twice as long and cost twice as much as they should, so they could draw the process out and make morale hit rock bottom and keep everyone in suspense for as long as possible. What bullshit.
The fact that there are 100 comments on this thread shows how much is not to be missed at chevron. 😃
IT not being able to help unless the answer is on google.
The "help" desk ignoring most of my requests. Then receiving an email 3 months later telling me it was resolved.
Bcg and the creepy way they lurked through the hallways and peered around corners, writing down our every move.
Smith safe driving training! Csoc. Cpdep. Acronyms.
Speaking of e-colors, the people who answer until they are the same combo as management so they look more promotable. Yeah. That actually happens.
I will not miss ETC, the largest group of the dumbest smart people on the planet. For all of you that make it through the ROM do not become an expert or they might send you to ETC. over night you will become lazy and stupid and constantly bitching about time writing. You will spend the better part your ETC tenure complaining about a process that takes 5 mins per month. For f***s sake just put your time in and stfu, is there not something else to complain about in ETC.
The obsession with e-colors, and the highly paid Equilibria consultants and weak managers who perpetuate this farce. That is some serious Kool-Ade
Forced team building events. Pass!
Feeling like an ass because I "still work at ambu". 😒
As a supervisor, having to call axiom over the pettiest little thing.
My monitors in the new building wobble. I wouldn't miss that.
All the acknowledgements in town halls. Ugggggggg.
87 replies on this thread and counting. By far the favorite one so far. For the previous poster (2 or 3 posts ago), the WE LEAD originator I assume was John Watson or someone in upper corporate. I remember during a year-end Town Hall last year or two ago, he surfaced it and said it would formally become part of our PMPs in 2015. This dumb ass sure led us to where nobody expected, didn't he?
Okay so we have all the safety safety safety meetings. Why the hell are CPR classes not routinely offered and publicized? That is the single skill that we office folk can actually do something with in regards to safety at work. But apparently it is important that I (in my office environment) understand how the valve and technical thingy works and be tested on it. Even though most of us won't ever see it in person to apply that knowledge. If you're choking, I can't help you. But I CAN tell you who all needs to approve field change management when the advisor is not there. Or some nonsense. You get my point.
The dumb chevron swag. Now I appreciate a chevron water cup or hoodie, but the truck key chains, drink cozies, awkwardly shaped limited storage small flash drives, coasters, and so on...well it's a waste of money on things people won't use.
3 points of contact.
the CVX warning label on the toilet paper dispenser....... says "WARNING SERRATED EDGE IS SHARP".......
Get on the truck!
How about the beloved, ever so useful and inspiring "We Lead" .... right over a cliff ...
Who ever came up with that BS? Did anybody ever take it seriously?
It’s hilarious reading this. Here are my pet peeves that I hope work better in the future at Chevron or wherever I may wind up.
People say we are very process oriented (maybe in the field, but not in the office). I call shenanigans. We talk about it but don’t execute. We might write something down and it goes through months of iterations (because every tom, dick, and harry needs to put in their 2 cents), then it’s filed away never to be looked at again. It’s never used to train the new guy or to hold people accountable for doing the work right.
Lack of documentation on how things are supposed to work (technical documentation, support docs, process docs, etc.)
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Overly complex and over documented processes. People just like to see the words on paper.
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Almost impossible to train new people, have cross functional teams, transition work, or successfully backfill for someone who is out
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Spend most of phase 1 & 2 of projects trying to figure out what the heck the current process, support model, etc. actually is.
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Taking months to document the most simple things
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No standards for documentation (PPT is not a documentation tool damnit)
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No evergreen processes to keep documents up to date
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Running around like chickens with their heads cut off when audit comes and we can’t find any documents and have to rewrite everything from scratch
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Technical people, while good at their job, can’t document what their job actually is or what they do
Fixing poor document management with more tools (eDocs, SharePoint, Documentum) that don’t actually fix the problem they just put it in a new application, and never fully get rid of the old one. There is a complete lack of responsibility and accountability for documentation, that is what needs to be fixed.
Work in silos with nobody talking to each other. Nobody knows what they do or what anyone around them does.
The me me me attitude of not sharing information for fear of giving away your expertise and not having a job. You should have already lost your job.
The “our BU is different and can’t do it the way they do”. Bullshit, 80-90% of what every BU does is exactly the same. We’re an O&G company not GE with 50 million different businesses.
The white glove approach to anyone above PSG 23.
The inability to give PMP feedback about our bosses (I’ve had 1 or 2 good bosses that did solicit this information, good for them).
Trying to get something done over months instead of getting everyone together and f-ing doing it. I blame management for not making sure people know their roles and responsibilities and not making them accountable for deadlines (or not even setting deadlines).
The Chevron Yes. Speak up of GTFO.
Someone make goddam decision and hold the team accountable for it.
Ranking sessions! US expat first year in country, does some entry level engineer work, special assignment "redraws" the local D&C org chart, gets TL position leaves on 5 months maternity leave, is back 1 month, gets a "1" ranking! Why I ask? She hasn't really done anything? Answer - Heck she's not just a hi-pot she's a "future leader" she has to be a 1! True story.
I won't miss having meetings about meetings. BBS and OE were such a joke. We used to pass spreadsheets of BBS to copy and paste and share OEs around the BU. Most of all I won't miss watching the lazy people try to throw anyone who was a threat under the bus or seeing people move up from sucking up or finger pointing instead of actually working hard. Not to mention the complete cluster of SCM GOMBU and it's unbelievably unprofessional managers. Won't party with them? Blacklisted!
The autoflush toilets flush 3 times while on it but then not at all when you stand. But yay! Look at all the water bottles we save at the water filling station.