Having to go to this forum to find out ANYTHING about what is truly going on with my job.
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Having to go to this forum to find out ANYTHING about what is truly going on with my job.
Being told to mentor someone I've never met who works 500 miles away.
I wish I could click "LIKE" on almost every one of these!
138287... Thank you! Geagea river rafting with that cute little helmet, saucily smiling into the camera, his man servant carrying important provisions for the trip! Pierre discussing parenting tips! And their medicated wife in the background, with the familiar Chevron Way grimace plastered on thier faces. Ah, the places you'll go!
I will not miss the KOOL AID!! They shoved this crap down our throats, right along with all the other processes and procedures that are so absurd, no one can get any real work done. The PMP process is seriously flawed, the BBS's are redundant, and has anyone ever figured out the MOC process?? I will, however, miss some of the co workers who have tried to make it a fun place to work.
The gap between stall doors.
Stalls in 1400, a limbo dancers dream!
I will not miss those cloying, sickeningly sweet yet so inspiring articles about our wonderful executives on the Chevron intranet. They come from a modest background! They like to fish! They have children! They admire George Kirkland! These are the same wonderful people who made all the bad decisions - or didn't make any decisions since that would mean taking a stance - that got us into this mess.
To the guy obsessed with Nigel:
- Please stop. No one cares. No one believes you. And no one cares. 2. You are likely the same troll who also says he's messing around with the HR lady. Again, please stop. No one cares. No one believes you. And no one cares. At least if this one were true, their babies would be so charming. But please.....stop. For the love of safety....stop.
Seriously!! Upper mgmt needs to read and fix all of this. And not with a 30 step, 7 month process, done by paying out MORE money to consultants, but with common sense!
I love this thread! It makes the idea of being laid off less terrifying. You guys are great! 😊
You get a pizza and soda! You get a pizza and soda! You all get pizza and soda!!!!!
All the soap boxes people use. I tend to trip over them.
All the fluffy nonsense. No wonder wells can't get drilled. We are too busy bragging about all the ways we haven't offended anyone today.
We lead. Doesn't even matter if you do the stuff you put.
Having to be so PC ALL THE TIME!
Lavish steak dinners to discuss how we need to cut costs.
Town Halls - bland, sanitised, depressing and culturally inappropriate anywhere outside of the USA !
All the layoffs!
Town Halls. Icebreaker joke. Forced Clapping. Metrics. Forced Clapping. Serious comment. Forced Clapping. Acknowledgements. Forced Clapping. End. Real clapping since we are glad to be free!
Wow, this has got to be my favorite website these days! Funnier than Dilbert.
No, I will not miss BBS. I always made it up.
No. I will not miss PMP, though I always got a 2 and I never challenged it.
No. I will not miss listening these safety moments and everybody adding their own silly comments.
Plus delta? Lol
This review.. That review.. Observations.. Yada yada.. Crap!
Anonymous138127 is angry because the guy was flirting with young attractive men BUT NOT with him…go to the Houston transgender function and find another dude to experiment with and get over it, closeted case.
People sharing OE moments like they are going to change lives.
Second all of these!!!! But in particular: "Trying to have a phone conversation with a person that has an accent so thick they might as well be speaking in their native language. The outcome would be the same. Anonymous138034", bbs, and csoc.
Anonymous138127 you are really repressed. Dude, you keep repeating the same story and now you even provide the person's full name… Have some dignity! Take your issues to your therapist: not only the fact that you have repressed same sex tendencies but also that you are too convinced of your good looks. Most likely you are a middle aged fat troll.
The SCM leadership that used religion as a cover up to do their dirt, and then say maybe this was meant to be. Mgmt witnessing & supporting lies. Stupid safety presentations. Coworkers pretending to have answers to seem smart. Hearing about ppls kids and the sports they played - who cared??? I didn't.
Company-wide reply-all email fiascos.
Processes for processes. Constant process updates. Complete lack of communication. Dog and pony show meetings where a few buddies pat each other on the back constantly...I'd think they were gay but they are of different sexes - get a hotel room. Complete imbecills writing policies then forgetting what they wrote and arguing that everyone is doing it wrong when they are following the policy verbatim. Project managers bring through millions for nothing. OE moments, safety moments, DIVERSITY MOMENTS which are only about black people and how down trodden they are (usually these are the upper mangers making bank), indian workers (dot not feather) shitting on the stall floor next to the toilet (smells like curry scented turds), oppressing talented workers and promoting intellectual failures, aweful cafeteria food based on what some california executive thinks we should eat because we are too stupid to do it ourselves, backing in a parking spot when the policy states otherwise but no one reads the damn thing, awful coffee, watching people eat as if every bite is performed with love and tenderness so others can see how OE and the chevron way is even drives their dining experience, chevron sponsoring ridiculous activities such as the Houston transgender function while laying off workers to save money, etc, etc.
Oh my no one believes me either. My Husband rolls his eyes, and my friends dismiss it as delusional.
Nigel Hearne making homosexual advances at me with his fake British accent. That man was raised in the U.S. and moved to England at 16. He uses it because he said young attractive men like myself often times like it!
It's true! No one believes me!
Telling a God's honest truthful Chevron story to the people in the real world and they all say liar. No way that happens at a company like Chevron! That's the only place that happens is in Chevron
I'll miss my favorite toilets in the building. I never took a dump on the floor I worked on, because I the stall partitions don't go all the way to the floor, so your co-workers could identify you by the shoes. Anyways, there are select floors I've discovered over the years that have the best toilets with very little traffic. It's a place I could escape to for a 1-hour dump. I even discovered a private toilet in a once vacant executive office suite on one of the floors. It was like a Taj Mahal. Granite and brass everywhere. It was "all mine" for about 7 months until CBRES converted the area for office space. I sure will miss that toilet.
Oddly enough, there is a lot of overlap with hi-pots and nepotism. Coincidence?
Seriously, I've always wondered, how does one get labelled a "hi pot"?
P. S. This thread is the best
How about the coddled arrogant "high-pot" aristocrats? All the rest of us must clearly be low-potential employees
That stupid revolving door on 1400 lowers your IQ just having to go through it. I call it the sterilization chamber. It is one -way entering and exiting in the same (opposing) direction, instead of a 'normal' revolving door. AND, you have to badge in and out with a security guard sitting right there. It is quicker just to go outside on the other side of the building though a regular door with no badging. What kind of security is this???? Also, I have noticed that if you can achieve meeting utopia where you are considered so important that you send your entire work week in meetings discussing previous meetings and action items on how to design the next meeting then you have reached the mountain top. All you do is how up, discuss why nothing is being done, make a spreadsheet and power point on how to implement the discussions of the previous meeting(s) into the next meeting, etc., etc. You could put this stuff in a movie and the Hollywood execs would think you are a creative genius.
The nepotism is unreal... No joke. There's a case of Grandpa, Dad and Son working in the same organization. Take down the Chevron sign outside of 1500 Louisiana Street and put up "Williams, Wiliams & Williams". Outrageous!
TOCA Table of Commitment Authority. Basisicaly the list of demigods and goddesses in Chevron. Not sure what you call a deity with gender confusion.