“I have the privilege to serve as the CEO and President of Wells Fargo”
TRUTH: I am going to make everyone at Wells Fargo pay the price for my disappointment in not succeeding Jamie Dimon.
“I look forward to sharing with you the many ways in which we are working to transform our institution while supporting our customers, employees and the communities we serve.”
TRUTH: I look forward to misleading you on the many ways in which we are planning to gut this institution while exploiting its customers, employees and the communities we prey on.
“We provided billions of dollars in PPP lending to America’s small businesses… and donated the processing fees we would have earned to a fund we created called Open for Business”
TRUTH: We were facing a federal probe for unfairly prioritizing the PPP applications which generated the most profit for Wells in processing fees, so we had to donate the profits to get critics off our back.
“Building an organization where employees can grow their career is a key strategy for Wells Fargo.”
TRUTH: Building an organization where employees in India can grow their career is a key strategy for Wells Fargo.
“We need to do everything we can to operate the company to the highest standards of operational excellence.”
TRUTH: Rampant cost-cutting will reduce Wells Fargo to a middle-of-the-road player who may survive but never thrive.
“I learned a long time ago that you’re just far better off if you want to move a large group of people forward by winning their hearts and their minds by making them part of the process to get there, rather than just telling people ‘you have to do’ something.”
TRUTH: I’m tripping on shrooms.