How is Wells planning to monitor all of our water cooler talk to make sure we are innovating and being “better together” when we’re in the office? What if we badge in but curl up in a corner to hide from everyone so work can actually get done and we don’t catch COVID? Can we put up a hand and tell randos that walk near us to get back?
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me: "so what are you bringing to Potluck Friday?
neighbor #53: "I think we need to have a stand-up on Watercooler Wednesday to figure this out..."
me: "but I was just asking what you were bringi..."
neighbor #53: whispers loudly "SHHH keep your voice down before we get in trouble. Site Leader #46 is on the other side"
site leader #46: "#53 and #99!! I am right on the other side of the cubicle wall and can hear everything you're saying. This is a warning that you WILL be written up for dissent for not chatting at your assigned watercooler AND you will also be written up for not having your potluck item updated in JIRA - this was due yesterday at 3:30pm PDT"
me: "but aren't we on Pacific Standar..."
site leader #46: cuts me off "PLEASE UPDATE YOUR TICKET IN JIRA FOR THE POTLUCK ITEM
me: looks at neighbor #53 and whispers "wait, there's a JIRA ticket for this?"
neighbor #53: "No idea, I'm just in marketing..."
site leader #46: "I CAN STILL HEAR THE BOTH OF YOU. I will send you the JIRA ticket after this stand-up"
neighbor #53: "What is JIRA? I don't even use...."
site leader #46: cuts off #53 "I will send you the JIRA training link. And you will be written up for not attending the 5 minute Agile training that explains everything... now go back to your cubicles!!!"
neighbor #53: "but I am at my cubicl..."
site leader #46: "I'm warning you #53, don't get smart with me!"
me: "damn it, I didn't even get to fill my Camelbak"
site leader #46: "#99, you were given a Wells Fargo branded water bottle. Please use that moving forward"
me: "yes ma'am or sir"
I can't wait to wear my 37 pieces of flair.
That's pretty much my plan. No clients or colleagues within 500 miles of my assigned location. Mask-up, show up, log on, do my conference calls on my laptop, avoid eye contact (or any other), lunch outside, get the 7734 out at quitting time.
They were called 'Kapos' in WWII
This calls for more Dwight Schrute micro-managers --WF's office is going to be as productive as "the Office" sitcome.
Heh, the watercooler was displaced.
you have a water cooler? they got rid of ours years ago to save money
We will be required to participate in four potlucks per month.
I can’t wait to “pop my head in” on random meetings after RTO. We are better together! Incredible innovation on the horizon for WF!
I remember when standing by the water cooler was bad, and when employees were seen there they were told to "Get back to work!".
But now the "leadership" wants us to hang around the water cooler. And do what....?
Step 1 - install some water coolers.
But if they really want collaboration, install a bar with free alcoholic drinks, that will get everyone socializing.
Just when you think the posts on here can not get any dum-ber
Well they do have people reporting on how full it gets, reporting on the conference room and meeting room bookings {rooms have to be booked according to rules -preventing LOBs from using rooms for overflow employees}, and making sure training rooms are used for training. But if you’re actually doing work in the office and not blocking doors/walkways I don’t think that would be considered a bad thing.