Hey everyone, need some advise. How do you deal with a toxic unsupportive manager? I used to have a good manager but unfortunately she was displaced last June. I was moved to this new manager but she has shown time to time that she doesn’t care. She micromanages, is always putting stress on us, overworking us demanding more work to be completed, if I’m doing good with my numbers, she finds a way to coach and demand more. One of my teammates had to take a leave for the same reason and I feel my mental health is reaching a point where I want to quit. I want to speak my mind directly with her but not sure if it’ll make it worst.
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Start looking for a new role immediately. Don’t waste your time documenting because WF HR does not care & they will ALWAYS back the manager and blame you. Move on, life is too short to waste your time. Do what is asked until you can get out. I’ve Been there, tried everything, was a top performer, and finally moved on. You should too.
Is there any remaining manager who is actually qualified? My experience is that they are tokens, buttt kissssers or or course, DEI box checkers.
In this scenario there isn’t much you can do other than move on to another role.
The good news is that all you have to stand is one year before you move to a new role. Start applying at 10 months, interview well and when you have an offer in hand move on. In the interim, take all PTO, FMLA and medical leave you can legally do and stay away from the abuser. Document everything and keep on your non-work device.
Unfortunately , corporate bullying is not illegal so HR won’t do anything unless you can prove other type of illegal behavior.
Bad managers are common here at the bank. They mostly mimic their manager. If you wait long enough then they may get themselves fired - easy to prove a toxic/hostile work environment.
@1ojx+1eKbTTLs, sometimes that doesn't work.
I was more than kind to my toxic managers, listened and obliged, yet they were still toxic, snarky, a holes. I even found the nicer and obliging I was, the worst it got. Sometimes you just have to make tracks.
I would
- look at myself. What is she asking me to do and am I responding in a manner that is based on good intentions. What do I need to change?
- look at her. Is she getting pressure from her leadership causing it to affect you? How can she help me balance my work?
- get a mentor. Independent third party to help navigate crucial conversations.
Once you have done the above, I would document my concerns with examples and I would have an honest conversation based on facts with my manager.
Her reaction would help me decide whether I would actively start looking outside my current department.
I would never sabotage. I would respond with kindness and professionalism. I would not respond in any other way other than “how can I serve” and “This is what I need.”
Probably what you really need is some “advice”.
No other choice but to start looking. No one will listen to you. I have been in this situation more than I would have liked to and it's no fun. She won't change. The only choice you have is to immediately start looking. I'm searching for a job now and it's so easy to run into that toxicity. Wishing both of us all the best.
Find something you both relate to and use that topic to create a “friendship”.
This will help while you search for another job.
Move to another group. Then, karma will happen later on. My belligerent ex-manager was part of the layoffs last year.
Do everything you can to undermine and sabotage this person.
Recruit other like-minded colleagues to do the same.
Toxic managers are so easy to run into. I have had two so far. One I learned to ignore, and the other got rid of me because I made a complaint about her and her friends. Unfortunately, they don't change. It's who they are. The most you can do is get out. H/r will not protect you, and going to a higher up won't work, either.
Your post triggered me, as I have been there before, and since I am out of work again and looking for new opportunities, I hope not to run into that situation, again. All the best.
Worst managers are the petty ones. If she wants you to continue working under her, she would treat you better. I suggest you start looking. She probably wants to replace you with a friend. Document everything and take pictures of any nasty emails she sends you. Then take them to your attorney to sue for harassment.
Quit. The bank probably doesn’t need you anyway.
The situation you are in sucks and I sincerely feel for you because I went through it as well with a different manager at a different company. The best thing you can do is find a place you are truly valued honestly. People don't change and she probably won't either. Worry about yourself and let her ruin her career on her own. Leave while you have the chance and get off of this sinking ship.
I'd bring up some of your concerns during your upcoming performance review. Don't attack her though, but mention how you can work better together. If that doesn't work, then start looking.
Start looking. You will likely come to that conclusion yourself in the next couple weeks as you get you performance review and comp deciaions.
There’s an old saying “people don’t quit their jobs, they quit their bosses”
Therein lies the answer
I totally sympathize. Many years ago, when I was in the early stages of my corporate career, I had a manager who, during my performance review, told me I was cranking out FAR more deliverables than anyone else in the area (not just the immediate team), but felt I could do even better. She therefore told me that my raise would not be as much a others because of this "assessment". My advice: Time to look elsewhere.
God it must be awful to be a retail branch person. McDonald's is paying competitive wages these days. Should be considered.
All I can tell you is that life is too short to be in a bad situation at work. If she's incompetent, get her fired. That's always my first try. It works, sometimes, if you're crafty and have any like-minded co-workers. Other than that, brush up the resume and gtfo.
Either wait for her to be replaced due to reorg, look for another role within Wells or leave entirely.
Not much else you can do. Unfortunately there are many bad and incompetent managers all around us.