Twas the night before Layoffs and all through the T not a creature was stirring, only shaking and drinking their Quarantinis
The metrics were met by the employees who care. In hopes that tomorrow, their jobs still would be there.
Ratty and Stinky nestled all snug in their beds.. While visions of T stock rising danced in their heads.
Employees tossed and turned without sleep, with worry of tomorrow and the FMP's they would soon reap
McFreshy in his ‘kerchief, and Mr Leggy in his cap, with visions of Transformations settled down for a nap
When out on the market arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter
Away to my computer I flew like a flash, logged into my email and prayed it wouldn't crash!
The sun on my chest, the early morning a glow.. Oh SH*T a new e-mail, "Was It My Time to Go?".
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, An All Hands on Deck Meeting “Oh No, Oh Dear 😰”.
More rapid then eagles our CEO did fold, to the pressure of Wall street and the lies that were told.
Am I having delusions? Unemployment fears? Too many Quarantinis on Zoom last night with my peers?
Outside my window is it true what appears? A sleigh ridden by Randy whose full of good cheer!
As he whistled and shouted and called them by name: “Now Stinkey, Arroyo and that Bill Morrow guy too!" On Feutch, on Chow and even Sock Puppet too” '
To the top of the bunker, to the top of the T”
“Now Dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”
So up to Wall Street the executives all flew. With a mouth full of promises – mostly broken ones too:
And then in a twinkling, it was heard on the floor,. Randy promoting HBO Max, Direct TV, 5G and much more .
A bundle of BS were flung on their backs. And they all looked like peddlers just talking some smack.
Randy's eyes – how they twinkled! His dimples how merry. His eyes were like roses, his nose like a cherry;
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, The few hairs on his head were as white as the snow;
The stump of a speech he held tight in his teeth,. And like smoke encircled his head like a Christmas wreath.
He had a long face, and a wee bit of a belly, He gave crazy predictions, that would shake T stock silly.
He was inconsistent, flaky, a right jolly old elf. Stockholders laughed when they heard him in spite of themselves.
A wink of his eye and a nod of his head. Soon gave Elliot & Shareholders a feeling they knew soon they would dread.
He spoke very few words, , and handed over the torch in a whistle, then parachuted off like the down of a golden thistle
But I heard him exclaim, as he dropped out of sight-
"Remember You Matter and To All a Goodnight”