If you (as an individual productivity unit) really-really-really would like to take a ½-year (or more) break from work, and can afford to make it on unemployment payments alone, come to HPE; your wish will almost definitely eventually be granted! Also, if you are a boss who really-really enjoys POWER and / or laying people off… And I have met some of these types at HPE… then here, too, you will want to come to HPE!
Addicts of various kinds have well-nigh flat-out irresistible urges or cravings for their favorite item(s) of abuse. As a gravid female sea turtle has no real choice but to crawl up on the sandy beaches to lay her eggs, a junkie needs a fix. For HPE’s upper management, they just MUST periodically have large layoffs, to fool the stockholders and potential stock-buyers into thinking that HP’s future is brightening up. Then nearly immediately afterwards, HPE will replace the laid-off workers with new hires that must be trained (while HPE hopes that the stockholders will not notice all the “churn”). All the on-the-job veterans will do their best to PRETEND to be training the new hires, but they don’t REALLY want to train you to take their job after the next round of layoffs. Instead, they will subtly but constantly remind the bosses of just how much more intelligent, talented, hard-working, and good-looking they are, than you are. So “newbies” are especially prone to getting laid off. There are departments at HPE where the job veterans (AKA the boss’s favorites) always stay, and round after round after round of “newbie” has been hired and then eventually laid off. If “newbie” is absolutely screaming desperate for a job, then the best advice is, come to HPE, but only work there as a stepping-stone to a better job… Jump ship ASAP after getting a job at HPE! Also note the following: This pathological addiction to layoffs and re-hiring sprees (minus the laid-off ones being able to come back, through HP’s “blacklisting” policy) comes from the very top. Nasty stuff flows down-hill, as they say. Even the lower management often sees the craziness for what it is, but they can’t do anything about it. So they hire the newbies to serve as layoffs protection for the job veterans, just the same way as NASA’s atmospheric re-entry vehicle deliberately sacrifices an ablative heat shield… Your job as departmental newbie will be to serve as the ablative heat shield to take the “hit” at the next round of layoffs, after which the cycle will repeat, and low-level bosses just have to roll their eyes and accept this as semi-SOP (Standard Operating Procedure). Finally, note this: If an HPE department needs trimmed in a layoff, the smart and humane way to deal with this, would be to warn the department’s workers ahead of time, so that they can job-shop within HPE. This is only VERY rarely done… HPE prefers to spring surprises on each department, one department at a time. To make matters worse… HPE is so “metrics driven” (lusting after “the numbers that must be met” for layoffs) that each department MUST deliver a certain number to be laid off! So if you have a humane boss who is tempted to warn you that “now is a good time to job-shop within HPE”, ahead of the layoffs, and you (and a co-worker or two or more) bail out to another department, his department must STILL deliver workers to be sacrificed! So giving you warning like this, clearly threatens your boss’s size-of-empire… His empire gets whittled down too much, and then his head is next on the chopping block, of course. There is NO incentive for humane behavior, and NO incentive for sensible people to hire on at HPE, if they have any better choices. PS, the layoffs are often planned a year in advance, so that they can assign a “D” grade of performance review to pre-justify themselves, to the layoff victims, ahead of time. If a department has 11 workers and 1 boss, and they are assigned 4 people to be laid off, what happens if 10 workers leave in the interim period, due to all forms of attrition? 12 minus 10 is only 2, yet 4 need laid off? This is one of those perpetual mysteries, sort of like “what happens when an irresistible force hits an immovable object?” My theory on the layoff metrics that cannot be met, but MUST be met, is that the heads of the top HP managers start to spin, and they start to spew out gray-green split-pea soup!
Recommend for HPE management…
Seek licensed professional therapy for your severe addiction to repeated rounds of layoffs.