We are the Champions - MRES Storage is Upbeat - post regarding Dell Inc. layoffs

We are the Champions - MRES Storage is Upbeat

My heart swells with pride to be part of the Mid Range Entry level storage group. We have achieved 100% of our overall forecast. Unity crossed $1 billion sales in one year. Dell and Goulden were so enthused with their inspiring address. Mr Dell wants Unity to grow to $2 billion and we want to tell him YES WE CAN and we'll slog our butts and brains to realize his aspirations. With no compromise on our health and family as our fearless leader often mentions. We employees are sure we will be bountifully rewarded by Dell with loads of monies. Our life goal is to help Dell clear his loans and we will leave no stone unturned.

We Are The Champions. Dell will pay his dues and clear of his loans. Time after time. We have done our sentence. But committed no crime. And bad mistakes ‒Dell has made a few. He has had his share of sand kicked in his face but he's come through. And we need to just go on and on, and on, and on.

We are the champions, my friends, And we'll keep on fighting 'til the end.We are the champions.

We are the champions. No time for losers. 'Cause we are the champions of the storage world.

Dell has taken his bows and his curtain calls. We have brought Dell fame and fortune, and everything that goes with it. He thanks us all. But it's been no bed of roses, No pleasure cruise.

I consider it a challenge before the whole human race, And Dell ain't gonna lose.

(And we just need just go on and on, and on, and on).

(Whole of Dell EMC in Chorus Sings now)

We are the champions, my friends,

And we'll keep on fighting 'til the end.

We are the champions.

No time for losers

'Cause we are the champions of the Storage world. (Repeat 3X)

Comment! It's anonymous!

22 replies (most recent on top)

5 years is a long time by which time EMC Dell will morph into selling something else.

Storage is dead within at least 5 years

Think ShoeBox size storage or memory boards in the servers

wtf! is that you Michael?

Freddie Mercury song is not appropriate. Instead Eric Clapton's 'Candle in the Wind' should be sung by Dell EMC workers. Good bye Michael Dell.

The hype around nextgen Cyclone is outrageously funny. Even the top level peddlers don't believe in their circle of lies. It comes out in their body language in all hands and manager meetings. More meetings and loads of slides which mean nothing at all.

We are the champions of fools. Take the severance package and run to a relevant company.

Unity revenues are not all through new bookings. They are mainly cannibalized from VNX. Now they are also going after the 600 million SC market space. Just don't understand how EMC had made a jackass out of Michael Dell. He was better off selling laptops.

Obvious that hallucinogens are now mandatory if you work in the mid-range storage group!

Only reason Unity did $1 billion in sales is because it's so outrageously overpriced. Where they found the fools to pay the price is beyond me. Oh, right, they use hallucinogens in sales now...

what. the. f. is this sht

Hilarious post.

Since you repeated same two words twice, shows your are hr or pr

Dell Emc products are ancient, as long as you can sell them and make monies

As obviously clever and witty as it is to steal a classic song to create a ridiculous s----up cult anthem (so we know it's a manager) tells you exactly why Dell EMC s**s ss. It's pretty incredible someone actually took the time to create this and post it (and no doubt so proud of their only idea ever they are still high fiving themselves) and it unquestionably demonstrates the depth of innovation and cutting edge ideas coming out of Dell EMC -- this is about as innovative and cutting edge as it gets and raised the bar so high it will be pretty hard to top. What a classic example of everything that is wrong and dysfunctional there. Ummm, it's already been done, maybe next time try something new?

Someone must have either been drunk, high on drugs, or been hit really hard in the head to write such a ridiculous post

@O2T3oaT-ffd

Next year we launch the super duper hyper hyper converged cyclone with built in artificial intelligence.

Ha, ha that was hillarious. Just listening Jeff B. talking about putting AI in EMC Unity was so f**ing entertaining..

GOOD SATIRE.

Post ID: @O2T3oaT-ffd

That's so perfect.

There must something in the koolaid. What a freak show.

Unity and other legacy products are now sunk costs. No ones gonna reward you. They layoff the team if they don't fit into next gen.

Go to sleep champion. Be ready for the hangover tomorrow morning.

Next year we launch the super duper hyper hyper converged cyclone with built in artificial intelligence. It will be controlled from a spacecraft from out of our solar system near around proxima centauri. Performance at the speed of light its a storage array targeted for inter galactic aliens. The earthly beings will be left with no option but to go for AWS, HPE and Netapp products.

Its party time. Even SC series is making monies.

Rest in peace Freddie. counter revolutionary song now used for evil capitalist Dell

Thread regarding Dell Inc. layoffs

We are the Champions - MRES Storage is Upbeat

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