Is it just me or is Agile a complete fraud. For every hour of work i do, i spend 24 hours doing what i would call process related work. I have to attend hours of scrum calls, story planning meetings, hours to write out user stories, hours to give updates, then half the time the work can't be done because of some other group. Or even during the sprint i end up getting tasked with 2X the work for random tasks that can't even be bucketed into an existing feature and the PO says it can't be bucketed without approval. Then i have to beg to move the story, or i have to go to some change control board to beg again. I have a PO and scrum master who ride me like a horse. I feel like a horse with 30 agile people driving me into the ground.
41 replies (most recent on top)
Post ID: @2zza+1aTB6hu5
Possibly the most confused poster that I’ve read here yet.
Microsoft misunderstood Network Computing completely until they realized that IBM gave them Windows 2000, a descendent of OS/2 1.3, and 2.x and they handed it over to David Cutler’s VAX team for finishing.
FYI: testimony May 25/26
Don't forget that cloud is basically the modern mainframe, which Microsoft tried to bring back in the 90's as "Network Computing", but were simply too far ahead of their time.
Like any methodology there are people who do it well and there are people who don't. There are also project specific things that come into play.
That said, Agile isn't exactly suited to everything we do and there will be an adjustment period while it rolls out and people get used to doing things a certain way.
Lastly, it's the latest hype thing in the company just like many before it -- data lake, api gateway, cloud, etc. etc.
Lots of mentally illness going here. Yikes!
Post ID: @1kpn+1aTB6hu5
“The troll is a manager at Wells Fargo, very likely a senior executive (if not Charlie himself). It is quite obvious from some of the vocabulary used - this isn't a lowly worker or manager”
I concluded the exact opposite: based on some of the vocabulary used - the troll IS a lowly worker. The lowest of the low, with a lot of pent up rage and a filthy mind.
I do agree with you that he is a sociopath.
Some takeaways here folks
The troll is a manager at Wells Fargo, very likely a senior executive (if not Charlie himself) who gets off on other peoples suffering.
It is quite obvious from some of the vocabulary used - this isn't a lowly worker or manager.
And being as much, this puts this individual on par with a sociopath, which makes complete sense - one does not run around and work overtime to dismiss things that are highly damaging to their stock option vesting schedule.
Well guess what you pathetic excuse of a human being?
You suuuck as a leader.
Pathetic really.
When you actively attack folks on this site or the employees who dedicated their life to this company, you create a terrible environment both internally and externally.
This is not leadership.
This is exploiting tax and labor loopholes that are likely to be closed by congress in the very near future.
See, I personally know congressional staffers both on the left side and the right side of the isle. Your testimony to congress in a couple days is going to be especially enjoyable to watch...they all know what you been up to and they all had the same reaction:
"WTF!"
Its a populist era today, you didnt know that? The crucifixion coming for you would make Jesus himself blush. =)
I hope you have prepared a full deck of lies - oh wait - lying to congress is a crime, isnt it? Pity... They have the facts, you best come prepared.
You are on the wrong side of history at this bank and in America in general. Your leadership will always be seen as abject failure and a case study of how to ruin a company. They will teach about your failure at Wells Fargo in business schools around the world.
That will be your legacy.
In the middle of a pandemic you thought you could save a buck and send jobs to low cost area ...but OOOPS...pandemic hit there even worse and now you scrambling to keep the operations lights on.
Abject failure.
That is what your policies are and what is what you are.
Your nearly failed payraise at the shareholders meeting last month is writing on the wall that shareholders are sick of your nonsense as well.
You've added 0 value to this company, nothing the OCC has mandated this bank be fixed HAS been fixed or WILL be fixed in the near future AND you are a racist POS with your "no black candidate" bs.
You are a fraud.
All you have done is created a toxic work environment internally while actively destroying those in the community who work at the bank... Do you not think they talk to their friends and neighbors about how bad this company is today under your leadership, especially after you shipped their job to India? It is no wonder sales are declining so rapidly.
When you look at your smirk in the mirror the guy looking back at you is a l0ser who could not lead a pack of dogs let alone a multi-billion dollar bank.
You need to run back to Jamie Dimon, return to your roots shining his shoes, scrubbing the skidmarks out of his underwear and getting him coffee because that is the limit of your skillset you insufferable POS.
Best thing that I’ve ever read here… it sounds even better than severance!
Agile is a 20+ year old project management business fad that really just formalized what well-oiled 8 man or less software development teams always did… work iteratively, over the cubicle quick discussions of interfaces and layers and a white board or two. Much as described in “The Mythical Man Month”, where a project management guru shared his experience with any more than 8 people actually decreases overall productivity.
Of course the fad caught on quickly and really served only to be a great place for wave upon wave of aging boomer project managers with obsolete technical skills. They the PMs hired more PMs and the process people joined the club.
Agile outlasted its usefulness over 15 years ago. The very name… “Agile” along with clueless leaders is all that keeps it in place. It Is now actually more inefficient than waterfall design.
sorry no agile here! This place is slowest place ever worked!
no such thing as wells using agile
@hks. Asian chicks as you call them, find your cr-p offensive.
HAHA this is awesome
Heres some more - we use these now and laugh at management as they scramble to figure out what to do
Agile is all about dynamic schedules. Fear/Uncertainty/Doubt (FUD) ki-l agile. Use it. Ask probing questions that make management uncomfortable - this works REALLY good when new management comes in who has ZERO clue.
Have someone who can type fast document the meeting. Make sure meeting notes are circulated. This provides documentation who made what stupid decision. Embrace accountability! Hold management accountable for d-mb d-mb decisions. EMBRACE CANDOR
Just arbitrarily close Jira tasks or log your time to any open jira task. This is especially effective if management is capturing contribution based on time logged. Pick tasks at random. No one qa's the data, so why not??
The implementation cycle takes forever at bank. Use this. It takes 2 days to do the release? Book the time and make sure to project the time as next sprint. Pad the time because implementation is not getting LESS complex or timeconsuming.
Embrace your heritage! - names of dead aunts and uncles are very effective variable names. Brush off your CS400 text book and make the simple unbelievably complicated. More the better. Make sure maintenance is shipped off to india. Their rudimentary skills will FOOBAR in no time.
Don't accept flimsy requirements - if business or management cant define the story, dont accept it. Have more meetings. Make sure they write everything down, or you write it down and send it back to them with message "This is what I heard and what I will implement. No need to respond if you agree." Put ownership 100% on them, especially when they f it all up. Bonus points if you know its wrong and do it anyway.
Schedule as many meetings around 4or 5pm est. This is when India people should be in bed. Make sure to talk faster in conference calls and assign the most complex tasks to them when they are least likely to retain it.
Let the project team dictate your choice of tools. Need a special library but none available? Either write your own (bonus points if hyper complex) or just find library on server that you can reference to build a dependency on poorly patched system. First patch and whole system breaks. Bonus points for obfuscation.
BE CREATIVE!
@vyy+1aTB6hu5
You always uptick your own post don’t you. Too funny because it is so obvious. And you are also the guy who whines about Charlie does not care about you. That is also so obvious. LOL
@bey+1aTB6hu5 - you are a slimy snake. I am the Asian chick whom you are drooling over. Still want to correct my grammar? Me not speak in lit and you is a creep!
Now we have tools to fight back @elj+1aTB6hu5
THANK YOU!
You shouldn't agile too serious.
KNOW HOW TO BUCK THE SYSTEM
They know how to offshore, well, this is a good way to even the score.
The bank is not at all organized for agile for starters - its organized for waterfall. so you get some twisted agile waterfall craziness.
unless EVERY dependent group is roped into agile then you will have gaps and fail.
DBA not agile and need commit for particular task? fail.
Server admin need change setting they not part scrum? fail.
Business not commit to come to scrums? fail.
Agile is designed to keep you in line, keep you fearful, and make sure everyone hears about your failure (social pressure). Use it to your advantage!
How you defeat agile?
- if task take 30 minute, guess 3 days; let others defend why it take less time, and allow them to volunteer do less time.
- add more "research" tasks to anything and see #1
- Create impediment tasks (dba/admin) as frequently as possible. This creates problem for scrum master they have to chase down and coordinate external groups.
let code monkey in india take lead so spaghetti is created, and add task to "quality check/redo" and see #1
- Add dependencies to documentation and business logic - this puts problem onto business and likely they not in scrum. Scrum master need to chase business to get answers. Instant impediment.
Add "performance tuning" tasks to everything. That actually fun. Tweak and rerun under ddos load. If they complain about performance tuning, remind them about obama care rollout - if they still push back, ask them to put it in writing they dont care about performance and be sure to preserve evidence. This is also an ethics violation.
- Add infosec dependency to review for security. If someone argue against security that a ethic violation. Infosec isnt part of scrum team either. This will create reverse pressure on scrum master.
- Criticize anything coming out of india - bad code quality, big O fail (loops of loops), security violation, standards violation, etc etc. Dont offer to fix, thats scrum master job figure out what do, but document all in searchable file so when happen to you you have defense. EMBRACE CANDOR ESPECAILLY TOWARDS INDIA FLUNKIES
- If they push to cut corners document in jira, and in searchable file. Make sure all cut corners are documented with email you save to pc.
- Be sure to remind scrum master there are 40 hours in a week. And of that 40 hours, you need time for adminstrative cr-p (mandatory training, stupid scrum meetings). This means you got about 30 hours per week of productive time. Trying to fit 50 hours into a 30 hour week wont work.
Unrealistic expectations are unrealistic.
- When that make stupid requests, just laugh outloud. Don't take them so serious OP. Make them uneasy around you and you will get assigned less.
- ust ignore the trolls. See #1 ;-)
Agile has been around for years, this is nothing new, just drummed up again in recent years with new buzzwords and folks are it up. It was called rapid track development at one time.
Most systems are not designed for this to work unless done from day one. Unless your system can be compartmentalizations, and most that have been around a while are not, you are just chasing your own tail.
But this crew fell for the buzzwords and think they can do it. It is not working the greatest so far that I can see.
Quit reposting worthless posts. Get a life
Just to clear things up, Post ID: @elj+1aTB6hu5 is a degenerate troll. He may or may not work for WFC, but he is a scumbag.
Reposting his posts, upticking his own posts 10 to 20 times, congratulating and agreeing with his own posts. Many of his posts are so degrading and angry, they have been deleted.
This is what he posted on another thread just yesterday “oh one more ting. Me tink you are a creepy lonely sad old man. You is a stalker, cant look at people in the eyes, drool over and stare at
Asian chicks when they are not looking. Then again they never look at you anyway. What a pity”
Creepy lo----e.
Never take agile too serious - it is useful to know how to buck the system.
firstly, the bank is not at all organized for agile - its organized for waterfall. so you get some twisted agile waterfall insanity.
unless EVERY dependent group is roped into agile then you will have gaps and fail.
DBA not agile and need commit for particular task? fail.
Server admin need change setting they not part scrum? fail.
Business not commit to come to scrums? fail.
Agile is designed to keep you in line, keep you fearful, and make sure everyone hears about your failure (social pressure).
How you defeat agile?
- if task take 30 minute, guess 3 days; let others defend why it take less time, and allow them to volunteer do less time.
- add more "research" tasks to anything and see #1
- create impediment tasks (dba/admin) as frequently as possible. This creates problem for scrum master they have to chase down and coordinate external groups.
- let code monkey in india take lead so spaghetti is created, and add task to "quality check/redo" and see #1
- Add dependencies to documentation and business logic - this puts problem onto business and likely they not in scrum. Scrum master need to chase business to get answers. Instant impediment.
- Add "performance tuning" tasks to everything. That actually fun. Tweak and rerun under ddos load. If they complain about performance tuning, remind them about obama care rollout - if they still push back, ask them to put it in writing they dont care about performance and be sure to preserve evidence. This is also an ethics violation.
- Add infosec dependency to review for security. If someone argue against security that a ethic violation. Infosec isnt part of scrum team either. This will create reverse pressure on scrum master.
- Criticize anything coming out of india - bad code quality, big O fail (loops of loops), security violation, standards violation, etc etc. Dont offer to fix, thats scrum master job figure out what do, but document all in searchable file so when happen to you you have defense
- If they push to cut corners document in jira, and in searchable file. Make sure all cut corners are documented with email you save to pc.
- Be sure to remind scrum master there are 40 hours in a week. And of that 40 hours, you need time for adminstrative cr-p (mandatory training, stupid scrum meetings). This means you got about 30 hours per week of productive time. Trying to fit 50 hours into a 30 hour week wont work. Unrealistic expectations are unrealistic.
- When that make stupid requests, just laugh. Don't take them so serious OP. Make them uneasy around you and you will get assigned less.
#2 – Agile Transformation is Limited to Process Change Only
Many people see agile as simply an alternative way of running projects. They view it as another tool in their toolkit, alongside traditional project management practices like those described in A Guide to the Project Management Body of Knowledge (PMBOK® Guide).
PMI encourages this thinking of agile as a process as it promotes hybrid agile approaches in its recently published Agile Practice Guide. This view of agile as a process change misses the most critical aspect of agile, namely that it is fundamentally a culture and mindset change.
Without a change in culture, agile will become an empty set of rituals that fail to deliver the promised benefits. Pretty soon, the organization will snap back to its tried-and-true methods, like a rubber band that has been stretched.
Consider the example of FinTech giant ING. It invested heavily in agile development processes in 2011 and then further into DevOps.
Years later, it recognized that it didn’t get the benefits because it hasn’t fundamentally changed the organization structure and relationship with the internal business customers. It had simply bolted agile on to the existing organization.
Large banks often do SaFE Agile which is code for do "iterative" development while maintaining huge SDLC/PMO/security/internal control groups etc. for compliance/audit that constantly get in the way and set deadlines that have nothing to do with Sprint goals. I was excited about Agile at first, but after I saw they weren't getting rid of the PMs and stupid SDLC requirements, I realized we would doing much more work instead less.... not to mention inheriting the paperwork from the people they laid off. It is such a huge mess.
The Agile rollout has been a disaster. The bank brought in new people -- outsiders -- for the Agile transformation. They're making decisions about systems and processes that they don't understand.
Management has never fully committed to going Agile. They create scrum teams and introduce Agile tools, but the fundamentals are missing. So far it's all cost and no benefit.
I can’t figure out why anyone would think @rom’s comment Is hysterically funny. Is it meant to make fun of people whose first language isn’t English? A veiled swipe at outsourcing? Not funny and definitely classless.
The problem is simply this: Agile managed and refined inside the same agile framework and operational groups is equivalent to Congress voting for a pay increase.
We need aggressive oversight from outside the agile org that is allowed to be critical with punishment. Carve a subset of the agile admin out for a distinct area with direct access to Charlie
Just to clear things up, Post ID: @rom+1aTB6hu5 is a degenerate troll. He may or may not work for WFC, but he is a scumbag.
This is what he posted on another thread just yesterday “oh one more ting. Me tink you are a creepy lonely sad old man. You is a stalker, cant look at people in the eyes, drool over and stare at
Asian chicks when they are not looking. Then again they never look at you anyway. What a pity”
Many of his previous posts have been deleted.
If that’s who you guys want to engage with, encourage and defend - then this board has devolved to a new low.
@ehk+1aTB6hu5
Agree. Charlie is so bad. He doesn’t care about us and he even sneezes. How dare he sneeze? Awful!
The funny thing about whiners is as miserable as they are they would cry like a baby if they get laid off. On their knees and beg to stay.
@rom - you just don’t know when to stop do you punk?
@ehk+1aTB6hu5 - Still sore because Charlie does not care about you?
@pnr an even bigger sabotage are the people who play corporate politics to get ahead while having much less skill and tact at what they're doing. I've seen to many @$$ kissers get ahead while qualified, capable individuals who don't play the game get left in the gutters.
You want this bank to be better? Stop promoting the incompetent kiss-ups and promote the people who have shown promise and capability. Reward talent and capability. Promote on merit rather than friendship/family.
Lead from the top and set the tone, Charlie has set the tone for what @rom posted and that is the end result. Highly performing individuals have gone from caring about the company to being frustrated with what is happening, so they don't try as hard. It's a failure from the top down.
What @rom+1aTB6hu5 suggests crosses over into active sabotage, which harms the bank and puts even more jobs at risk.
Post ID: @rom+1aTB6hu5 is a sleaze bag.
Don’t compliment him. Don’t uptick him. He’s not funny. Not smart. Not useful. I’m not a Wells Fargo lover, or a Charlie-lover, but I certainly do not want this POS on my team or by my side.
I thought "The Agile Fraud" was SVB's new nickname in the company.....
#1 – Agile Transformations Fail Because They Take Too Long
The primary reason that I believe agile transformations fail is that they take a long time. As humans, our expectations for things have dramatically changed over the last five to 10 years.
Today we expect things immediately. Amazon will now deliver almost anything, including groceries, to my home in two hours or less. We have become conditioned to near-instant satisfaction, and we are losing the ability to defer gratification.
In organizations, the challenge of wanting instant results is exacerbated by the short-term tenure of executives and a somewhat myopic focus on short-term results. The average tenure for a CIO is about four years.
That isn’t a lot of time to make a deep and lasting change like a transformation to agile. Executives find that they need to hit the ground running and deliver results fast. Most don’t have the patience or the time to take on an agile transformation.
A true agile transformation in an organization is anything but fast. Change takes time, for all organizations. Most people believe it takes three to five years. That is beyond the horizon for most executives.
Those transformations that get started will likely be halted mid-stream once the focus shifts to a different shiny object, or the agile champion leaves the organization.
Wells dresses up their waterfall practices in Agile terminology and calls it Agile. Just using Agile terminology does not an Agile organization make. It sounds like Wells gives Project Managers Scrum Master titles but Project Manager goals. The Scrum Master's job is to protect and enable the team (removing impediments, enabling collaboration with other teams regardless their software development methodology).
Clearly we all need to take the companies Agile training! Then wait for more training to be rolled out so we REALLY understand it! Oh, THEN decide that PO’s and upper management should really be managing all of this but NOT MAKE SURE THEY UNDERSTAND AGILE! THEN, realize we are not really truly doing Agile, re-org, fire the good people, all so we can once again start over (while all of our competitors are smoothly continuing to run efficiently). :|
Wells Fargo destroyed agile, which is why they can't have nice things. Although to be fair, it seems like IT in most big companies complain they don't do REAL agile.
OMG I’m not in tech, but I think the post below might be the funniest, smartest, most useful post I’ve ever seen on here.
Kudos to @rom+1aTB6hu5. I would love to have you on my team (and on my side).