Certified genius 1: we need to generate more revenue.
Certified genius 2: I know. Let’s raise prices on directv.
Certified genius 3: yes ! But we don’t want more satellite customers. Won’t raising prices draw MORE people to to our satellite service?
Certified genius 4: wait. Im confused. I thought we DID want more satellite customers. Isn’t that why we ran a high pressure sales campaign to migrate u-verse customers over to Directv?
Certified genius 3: no, dummy. I mean, yes we wanted them off u-verse because our customer satisfaction on that product is way too high and that’s just unsustainable. So we want them to go to Directv satellite but only for a little while. We want them to ultimately go to Directv now after we work the bugs out on that platform.
Certified genius 2: we can’t afford to wait for the bugs to be worked out on Directv now. Raise prices on Directv Now now! Rename it att tv now. Customers are willing to pay more for the att branding. We don’t want those customers who are not willing to pay a premium for an att product anyway.
Certified genius 1: doesn’t Att tv Now require a high speed connection though ?
Certified genius 4: that’s the beauty of it. You can use att tv now on Comcast‘s internet. Stupid Comcast. We’re going to steal all their tv customers lol.
Certified genius 2: yeah! Let’s raise the price of DSL customers too. This way , We can drive them over to Comcast internet , where the bandwidth is plentiful and then they can subscribe to our att tv now service.
Certified genius 5: maybe we should consider deploying high speed fiber to the home if we are going to push OTT services.
Certified genius 1: how did you get on this board? That’s the most id–tic idea. You know how much it costs to deploy fiber ? Why would we do that when Comcast has plenty of high speed cable already at their homes ? id–t.
Certified genius 2: don’t forget Hbo max.
Certified genius 4: we didn’t. For those customers who refuse to see the value of Directv satellite and att tv now, they won’t be able to resist hbo max , where we charge more then Netflix for re-runs of friends and South Park. We’ll charge 15 bucks but we’ll raise their wireless plan by 15 bucks and force them to have free “free Hbo and Hbo max” as part of their package.
Certified genius 1: wow, that’s brilliant! Customers are so dumb. They will never catch on. I’m giving you a few million more in compensation.
Certified genius 4: thanks!
Certified genius 2: hey it was my idea to raise prices in the first place.
Certified genius 1: fine. More bonuses and stock options for everyone ok ? Job well done guys !
Certified genius 5: I don’t know. Customers may not be willing to pay more for tv they don’t watch, especially if they are already paying Comcast. I think maybe we should focus on improving our fiber footprint and offering better and more reliable internet speeds than Comcast. If we build it , they will come. I think it would be easier to sell them OTT services if we are already their home internet provider.
Certified genius 1: omg. Security !