How are we handling work life balance with the new in office requirement? My child is starting kindergarten next year and I’m not sure how to handle the 8 hour in office rule. I previously planned to just pick him up then work from home for a few hours. I have child care, but I’m responsible for the pick up and drop off. The school schedule does not align with work at all. My partner and I already work opposite shifts for daycare drop off and pick up. But the school schedule is much harder to accommodate. Honestly, don’t tell me to hire chauffeur. How do people with kids do it?
I know this isn’t layoff related but I’m not sure who to ask,
50 replies (most recent on top)
@3xk Is WF really claiming to be family friendly though? Seems like senior leaders are making it pretty clear they don't care about employees themselves, much less their families. They just want people to quit.
@3xb I don't disagree with you completely but they need to then stop touting how family friendly they are. Also times change this isn't the 50s anymore.
The entitlement on this site is mind-boggling. If you start a company, you have the right to choose where your offices are and whether on-site work is a condition of the employment that you offer. Conversely, potential employees are free to choose where they live, decide what commute time and in-person office presence (if any) they’ll tolerate, and engage in thoughtful family planning, including whether they’re financially and logistically able to support children in the event they accept an offer from an employer with an in-office requirement.
Ummm, hello. It’s called before/after care or find a center that picks kids up after school. Yes, it’s a big cost. I recall paying $1600 a month for 3 young children years ago but had to do that to work! It was a temporary cost until they got older. I am all for wfh and flexibility, but bottom line if your dept is not flexible find a new job.
My husband works in office 6am-6/7/8pm most days. No wonder moms in America are dropping out of the workforce workforce or not having more children. It’s become unsustainable to have a family and two full time working parents. I can’t wait for the male boomers to retire.
Fellow Xer here and I generally agree with your comments. However, the issue I take with HY is that technology now allows us to complete the exact same work from any location and at any time of day. Which is another way of saying that they are tormenting employees for no practical benefit. Back in the day we dealt with scheduling BS because the tech wasn't there to provide another option. What WF does now is essentially tell people to walk everywhere in an era after the car had become mainstream. Um, why? The answer is obvious in this case, simply to torment people to motivate some percentage to quit. That's not a morally justified position.
I understand what people are saying about making it work do what we did, but it is a different world now. You are no longer done with work at 5. It consumes everything so a little flexibility in being able to get your child home after school is not too much to ask.
Yes she could do after school. Leave at 5 and don't give another minute.
This is ridiculous. I am Gen X, and child care at the time for us was another house payment. Wait lists were long and if you wanted infant care, you basically had to get on the list in early pregnancy. None of this is new. My husband and I worked nights at the opposite ends of the week (M,T,W and he worked Thurs, Fri, Sat) when we had an 18 month old. We saw each other one day a week for a few hours while one of us tried to get sleep. We made it work. You do the best with what you have at the time; there was NO way one of us couldn't work. When he got a normal 9 to 5 shift we had childcare and it was a HUGE hit to us financially. But again, we made it work. We've been married over 25 years now, kids are grown and things are wonderful. We went thought those hard times together and it just made us stronger. People aren't always going to be around to solve your problems; you have to figure it out.
Too many younger people these days thinking that they are entitled to some more than what the rest of us had to do. Too many participation trophies. Be resilient. Be a problem solver. Get a new/better/remote job. Find someone who can help with drop offs and pick ups. Use a family member. Use a neighbor. It might su-k and you might not like it, but if you have to work, then you make it work.
When my kids were small, we kept them in a school that had full day kindergarten primarily for the child care piece of it. I had a longer commute, so he'd drop them off in the morning, I'd pick them up in the evening. Then when they went into first grade, there was onsite child care that would help with home work (as they got older), and had plenty of outside time to play, etc. They utilized this until 6th grade. By that time, I'd been able to work remote with WF. I'd been remote for almost 15 years, so I'd take and drop off to middle and high school until they were able to drive; or they took the bus. We had options.
When our son was around 18 months old, WF asked me if I wanted to lose my job or work nights. I chose nights. My husband also worked nights; so we had family and friends help where they could, there was NO way I couldn't work.
Anyways, short of staying home and hiring chauffeurs (roll eyes) network with other moms at the school, neighbors, friends and family and see if there is a way they can do a pick up or drop them off at school in the AM if needed.
I never used WFH as "day care" while I was remote for those 15 years. Mom was working. If they needed something, they learned to be very self sufficient, or I'd have snacks and TV shows they could watch for an hour or so after school. These things can be taught even to a kindergartener.
@1a2 I didn't down vote but you can have school age kids at home and work. What about all the after hours work we all do that is essentially un paid.
Does the person who downvoted @13s's post think WF should pay people to watch their kids? I mean WF su-ks and all, but get a grip.
@13m said: "WFH days are not meant for babysitting. When you’re home you should not be taking care of your child while on WF clock." That seems reasonable.
@b We were also told that WFH days are not meant for babysitting. When you’re home you should not be taking care of your child while on WF clock. WF is not flexible or family friendly at all. The only upside to having kids while working at WF is the improved parental leave. But don’t dare take all of it because you’ll be looked down upon.
@me very sad to say these types of "accommodations" are no longer permitted. not at manager's discretion and not at all by going thru formal request.
I'm so sorry for some of the responses you're seeing. We encountered this same situation this year with kindergarten, right as the push to need 8 hours in office started officially with enforcement. Previously I would start at home, go into the office after I dropped them off, and work until my regular time, then log back in at home after pick up if needed to finish up. So was getting 6.5-7 hours in office and working probably 9-10 total. That wasn5good enough with the office time focus.
Now we have to use after school care, and my in office days I start and end later, but don't log on at home at all. So more in office time, but less overall hours worked. And spouse(non WF employee thank god) covers pick up and drop off when her schedule allows to try and cut down on the time spent in after school care. We had to get creative, but it's working for us. I hope you can find a good solution that works for you and your family.
Hire a freaking chauffeur.
I'm sorry people are being so terrible on here. I'm sure you do more in your time in office than most of the trolls posting.
Before covid I did ask my manager for this exact accommodation and they did approve it but not sure how realistic that is now. Could be worth a convo or discuss reduction in hours?
Holy Moses is this the first.time I the history of the world that people have had to go into an office??
Come on now. Put your adult pants on.....
@c2 - that was uncalled for. You do not have the intellect or emotional stability to BE a parent. This is WORK. The US has always had 40 hour work weeks in office. What fairy tale were you living in? Welcome to reality.
Saw a sign at local daycare “infant slot available.” I am so glad my wife stayed home with the kids.
We could never abandon our children to be raised by strangers who refer to children as “slots”
No one needs a leaned G Wagon so bad to abandon your children to minimum wage strangers.
@g2 they literally didn’t say anything about wanting to work or finding it desirable/important.
A majority of moms HAVE to work and would choose not working to be with their kids if they could.
@g5 proving my point. Why don’t you take your own advice and shut up?
@g0 for the whiney man child who is crying that the generation before he /she/ them, man up or shut up. Find a new job. Why do you feel entitled for others to accommodate your choices? Your 2 moms really ruined you
It's crazy to me that women look at work/careers as desirable/important in life. When we're on our deathbeds, it will be irrelevant. Men have evolved for thousands of generations to make this sacrifice. It's not a good thing. It shortens life, breaks bodies, and robs us of critical family time. It's absolutely nothing to be jealous of. Each of us are individuals and can do what we want, but IMO most people that sacrifice family for "a career" will come to regret it and you'll never get that time back.
@cz man’s world. lol.
Anyway, for the time being, do anything you can to hit four days x 8 hours no matter what. If you don’t , you are just giving them a reason to fire you. Also, pray that the fathead in charge of your business group quits.
End of the day, Charlie is comped on return on equity, it’s all he cares about.
“We did it back in the day, su-k it up.”
Good for you! You did it by not seeing your kids and now they don’t want a relationship with you. Some of us don’t want the same experience you had!
Or you did it because your wife was able to stay home and y’all could survive, or even thrive on 1 salary.
Or you did it because things were cheaper back in your day. Y’all are so out of touch with reality. Please go look up childcare costs and inquire about the waiting lists then come talk to us.
I forgot though, you Boomers and Gen X’ers don’t understand logical thinking or reasoning. It’s your way or the Highway, which is once again why your kids hates you.
I was active, collaborating around the water cooler, which Shart said is the most important thing any WF employee does. So...
Have your partner do the heavy lifting. Not sure if it's nary, binary, or trinary
Hasn’t anyone told you - this is a man’s world?! Men are scared of women who can multitask and actually cover work and home. No one seems to care about the people who come in to plug their computers up, work for a couple hours, leave for lunch for 1 hour, then leave for the gym for 2 hours and then come back and work until 5 (unless you believe the activity monitoring…) But a woman coming in at 8, working through lunch, leaving from 2:30-3:15 and logging back in…. well, the whole system would just fall apart wouldn’t it?! They don’t care that most working moms are doing the jobs of 2 or 3 of the men. They don’t care that 4 “8 hour” days in the office puts a huge strain on families, they don’t care if you can’t find help or have to pay money for it. They don’t care. But good luck!
@cd ha! But unfortunately no it doesn't work like that they're checking for inactivity
Leave your PC connected at work.
Then leave to pick up your child, drop them off at Home, go back to work to pick up your PC.
YOUR PC NEEDS TO BE at work for 8 hours. You do not.
I've been using 4 hours PTO to stay home all week since January. I only work until 12 pm. 😆
Many people plan for these things ahead of time, before assuming the immense responsibilities that come with having kids.
@c1 Sure, but she was doing in on her back from her bedroom.
My mother did it with FT job, 5 kids, and no babysitter. Most importantly, with no whining and no expecting the world to change to meet her situation.
I'm sure you'll survive...
@bg this company and most companies were more flexible. Seems the post-covid mandates came back to treat us as if we are high school students. Some of this thanks to coffee badgers no doubt. But overall it was more flexible at my previous corporation as well and even going back 20 years or more.
A lot of people use before and after school care. They offer that at many of the schools around here. Does cost extra but still not as much as full blown daycare.
Or you trade off with the other parent and go in early to leave early and the other does the reverse.
This is old problem, find families like you to car pool, so you only need to pick up for a day.
The same as I have been working a full 8 hours 3 days a week since we returned from covid years ago.
@OP
Why don't you ask your manager and work it out? This isn't the first time they have had this problem.
You are raising kids. Time to get creative.