#barrelingtowards2020

I read an article that T is experimenting with a new transmission delivery method for their wireless phone service. The idea is to take 2 tin cans with a string placed in between them. T engineers claim that this ultra low frequency transmission path will produce crystal clear voice service and provide a drastic improvement over the current configuration. In order to accommodate multiple calls at once, the T engineers have developed a simple half hitch knot that can be tied at any point along the route. Being cost conscientious as always, they cite the half hitch as being 4 times more economical than a traditional grand-pappy approved double hitch. Also noted that with labor contract negotiations going on now, the company is wanting to outsource placement of the string but the union is fighting like h€!! to keep it in house.
As for now, wireless data services will be handled by ultra light carrier pigeons which are fed a gluten free diet. They have been proven to be greener than the traditional fiber, cell tower, electricity, and battery setup(Remember, no job is so important and no service is so urgent that we can not take time to perform our work in a safe and environmentally responsible manner).
Hopes are that as string quality improves and we get back to US manufactured tin cans that we can dominate the market. #barrelingtowards2020.