Thread regarding Hewlett Packard Enterprise (HPE) layoffs

Achtung! Beware! Anti-“New Guy” Tricks Being Played on"New Guy" to Work Group

If you liked the move “Office Space”, and would like to work in a job environment like that, I suggest HPE’s job openings. The recent specialty of the house is what I would call “impractical humor”, because it makes it impractical to actually get your job done efficiently. This applies ESPECIALLY if you are new to a work group! It involves some very funny circular logic. You have no credibility, because you are (new and therefor) slow. Your lead engineers and management will make you double-prove and try to triple-prove that your work is correct, because you have no credibility (while those group veterans with credibility 0.5-prove or single-prove their work, at best). Because you have to triple-prove your work, you will be slow. Because you are slow, you will have no credibility! And round and round she goes… Quite funny, actually! … Oh, yes, and funny jokes from many-many engineers, directed at many-many other engineers, about their lack of tech skills, abound! A funny thing about these funny things, though, was I rarely hear any laughs, and the ones I do hear, are nervous or forced. But humor abounds, there at HPE, if you like that kind of humor!

The down side of all this is, those who do not play these humor games, or do not play them well, or start to play them only after they have gotten a “D” on their report card, get laid off. And that’s not quite so funny any more… Certainly not to the ones that get laid off. The jokers who make these kinds of jokes, and do it well? They keep on laughing all of the way to the bank. It does not even matter, by the way, after you have gotten that “D”, that you work tons of over-time, and give up your vacation time, and deliver good performance on projects just as hard, or harder than, that which the jokers are working on. You will get laid off. “D” on report card says “Done for”; they have lined you up ahead of time, with their forced-distribution ranking schemes, for the next round of layoffs. After your “D”, it would not matter if you have invented anti-gravity or artificial consciousness, because The Management Has Spoken; They have rubber-stamped your competitor “team-mates” sarcastic jokes about your tech skills! Once Management Has Spoken, they will NOT change their minds, no matter how hard you work, or what you do. And if you try to “bid out” of one HP group to join another, post “D”… No matter how many good grades you have gotten, in how many previous years… You are toast! The potential new manager will snoop on your LAST grade… And ONLY your last grade… And KNOW that Management Has Spoken, and no HP manager (in the minds of other HP managers) ever makes any kinds of mistakes in judgment. So post “D” on your report card, do not work harder or longer… Take it easy! If you work harder, you just make it easier for HPE to continue to carry on their jokes…

PS, also beware of this: HPE will sometimes give you a job-grade increase, without any increase in pay, just to “set you up” to be able to give you a bad grade. Now that you have been promoted to Vice President (of sarcastic jokes or whatever), you are expected to create room-temperature super-conductivity with your hands tied behind your back, you know. Didn’t do that? “D” for you! So if you get a job grade increase, try to turn it down, if they will let you… Or, bail out to another job with a lower job grade, they will let you do that… But in your new group, beware of the circular-logic trap that is set out for newbies!!!

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| 1931 views | | 3 replies (last July 4, 2018) | Reply
Post ID: @OP+TZ1WlDz

3 replies (most recent on top)

Op’s post makes me think about a post that I (as a military vet) made way back when, on these pages. See https://www.thelayoff.com/t/Py601PO …

If you as a USA citizen or resident appreciate our freedom, please celebrate it (responsibly) today! But also please recall that along with freedom, comes responsibility! PLEASE recall to be responsible for your actions, as informed by your conscience, God, ethics, or whatever name you wish to attach to it!

If you CLAIM to appreciate freedom, and yet you use it to abuse your fellow humans… As I have documented in the above link… Please be aware of the fact that men and women who are BETTER than you, have fought and suffered for our freedoms, only to come home and find that petty, greedy people squander what we have served and suffered for, and serve nothing and no one but themselves! PLEASE try to do better!

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Post ID: @sht+TZ1WlDz

"Where do people find the time to come up with this sh--"

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Some of them have come up with the time to WRITE DOWN the "sh--" that OTHERS have found the time to "come up with" (AKA actually COMMIT) as selfish deeds... Because they (the writers, not the foul-deed-doers) got laid off, and are geezers, and so no high-tech company wants to hire them any more!

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It's not "sh--'s actually true events. So, prospective HPE workers, be warned!!!

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For those interested in age discrimination cases, see this one about IBM...

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2018/07/03/ibm_langley_age_discrimination/

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Post ID: @jsw+TZ1WlDz

Where do people find the time to come up with this sh--

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Post ID: @chi+TZ1WlDz

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