ECAL Process broken down in plain english

E N T E R P R I S E C L O U D A D O P T I O N L I F E C Y C L E ( E C A L )

ECAL is a business-driven process, aimed at achieving customer success at "cloud speed." ECAL begins with identifying priority business initiatives, use cases and adoption patterns, and then uses an iterative, Agile-based approach to develop each use case via a series of ECAL Sprints from envisioning the solution through solution deployment and full business transformation. This is executed as a collaborative engagement between Oracle’s team of enterprise cloud architects, platform specialists and customer cloud success specialists and an organization’s cross-functional team.

How to Engage:

For more information on starting an ECAL engagement for Application Development and Testing, contact your Oracle Sales Representative or Customer Success Manager.

The whole ECAL process is broken down for you here in 14 extremely painful steps:

Step 1 - Contact your sales rep.

Step 2 - Get an ECA to count your cores.

Step 3 - Receive a bill for $8.41 per core per hour 24 HRS a day 7 days a week on an Exadata Cloud Service. (Later find out we dont have it running yet)

Step 4 - Pay the first year contract of cloud credits and sign a 3 year agreement.

Step 5 - Move your apps to our next gen cloud service while we build the Exadata machine (wait 6 weeks)

Step 6 - Find out we don't know how to do the networking to have BMCS talk to Exadata cloud service, watch us route traffic over the public internet.

Step 7 - Drop ship us a large device with your data on it, cause we don't have a big pipe to our rented data centers yet.

Step 8 - Sue us for breach of contract, because we have not met any deadlines and have violated literally every line on the security document.

Step 9 - Read the arbitration clause put there by Oracle legal, stipulating you can't sue us for breach of contract.

Step 10 - Receive yet another invoice for services not yet rendered.

Step 11 - Receive threatening letters from Oracle legal over non payment

Step 12 - Get contacted by the LMS audit team

Step 13 - Get a "way out" from the LMS audit allowing you to buy more cloud credits at 50 cents on the dollar for your unpaid license and support costs

Step 14 - Unplug all Oracle software and go to AWS.

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13 replies (most recent on top)

This is such a perfect example of everything that’s wrong with oracle. LE and TK come up with some nonsense, their henchmen in dev put something useless together, then legal steps in to write some contracts that favor oracle, then if the crap doesn’t sell, well, that’s because the sales org doesn’t know how to do its job. As for the customer? Who cares!

Yeah, the architects are a total joke, haft are just plain incompetent and the other half plain useless, but hey HD is doing a great job s---ing up so his group avoid major reductions, that’s how the game is played at oracle.

Amazed to see HD and his bunch of s---ers still run a fake racket of architects something.

ECAL. - Expended Calories. Waste of time. Oracle Cloud is a non- starter.

The alternative approach would be: skip oracle, got straight to AWS, save yourself tons of grief and money, live a happy life. The end

Per Engineering Management this is because you are not skilled enough in deep cloud design and deployment. So BMCS is the new "must sell / must include". Engineering tells Sales Mgmt that you are not smart enough to sell it as a part of a cloud native, Devops, modern, application architecture. If you were only smart enough this would drive massive sales of BMCS compute and storage. Customers are excited about Kunernetes Customers want software driven infrastructure. But you refuse to sell it and promote it. Why? Maybe because the services don't exist. Maybe it's because no one knows how it works. Maybe it's because you aren't provided access to trial and personal development resources in the Oracle Cloud. Or maybe it's because Oracle has 3 different network models 3 different APIModels 3 different orchestration models and two different security models.

So you are the problem standing between the Engineering Vision and Customer demand. You will now become Full Stack Developers. We can't tell you how, but you will or else.

It's such a disaster.

This is INACCURATE! You forgot a few important steps:

1) File a Service Request to get a firewall rule to open a port to your on prem data center (something you can do with AWS and Google in 1 minute with their console). Wait 10 days, because the team that does this only does it on Friday nights. I swear, I am not kidding.

2) Be extremely disappointed when you realize that the HIPAA compliance that your sales rep promised does not apply to Gen 2 / Bare Metal services and/or to the specific service you are using. Realize that the $500k your sales rep made you pay in advance just went down the drain.

3) Contact your attorney when you find out that the on prem software you purchased is not actually supported on the cloud platform you purchased. Once upon a time, Oracle didn't recognize revenue from orders that were booked with unsupported software ... but with cloud deals, anything goes! Yes, this is illegal. Yes, I am a customer who purchased a Solaris SPARC "cloud" machine (just a piece of hardware in Oracle's data center) only to find that the sales reps lied to me and that my key on prem software was not supported on the cloud version.

written by a former Oracle employee. now employed by AWS!

Well, you know, customers are a dime dozen. Doesn't matter what you do to them, they always come back for more. Endless supply. No reason to do anything differently.

Oh my god

Sounds like the typical Oracle way of doing business

Ouch.

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ECAL Process broken down in plain english

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