Any recommendations on how to handle this without talking about money and/or explaining that their dad (their super hero) lost his job in July?
15 replies (most recent on top)
Best of luck. God bless you.
What can be done?
Exercise everyday in order to dissipate your anger and frustrations.
Understand that you are feeling that you are in a weak position but you are an able bodied man who is willing to work and can help solve others problems.
To wit; make an inventory of what you have done - anything - and extract the skills from them. (Let us say you have mentored others, well - that is a "leadership" skill. Develop a couple of different resumes for different positions.
Fix all the little issues around the house or your apartment etc. (cleaning your cars could be one)
Finding a full-time job is going to be consuming at least half a day; the rest of it you should spend with your family and with yourself.
If possible, take an enrichment class in your local school district or CC - say Spanish or Italian (do not bother with Chinese). You need to get out of the house.
Cut the cable, if you have not already done so.
If possible, find and accept short temporary jobs that can get you moving forward.
Explain things to your children, if you need to but keep a stiff upper lip in any case; likewise with the wife (women like men who brush things off in tough situations).
Do not cut any food items - that is the worst you can do.
If your wife is working, help with shopping - that also takes a long time to find the best food for the best price.
I have been unemployed many many times and I know it takes a lot of fortitude to deal with the frustration of it.
Do not accept just any long-term job; if it feels wrong, do not go there. Especially, do not work for any company less that a few thousand; you are used to the professional HP and HPE environment and not the highly politicized and unfriendly environment of these small fiefdoms.
When interviewing, show an interest in what they are saying and if you like them, then tell them that you would accept the job if offered.
Be patient and know that it is not your fault.
I am sorry but to those of you telling the poster to stop whining and get a backbone - get a life! First of all his post is not whining, he is simply asking for advice on how other people handled the situation. I am just appalled by people who just are so judgmental and evil to people because of the online anonymity. Our society is just going more and more to the wolves and I just got fed up after reading all the comments here and had to post. People. the minute you want to post something nasty about someone or give your so called "good advice" - STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER and think for a minute! I hope you are not that crass in "real life".
To the OP: You poor little guy. Your post suggests that you were one of the innumerable people who allowed themselves to slide into a do-nothing, show-nothing job over the years.
That said, now is the time for you to develop a backbone. Read "177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class" (I have no financial benefit from this endorsement. The author is not a friend, relative or colleague). Inculcate the reading. Act only to move yourself forward toward a quantifiable result. Spend no energy on whining. The transformation required to reclaim your power of agency - the ability to act on your own behalf towards a goal - this involves external focus, mission orientation, and quantifiable results.
Thank your lucky stars. You are out. You can recover from this circumstance of income discontinuity and reclaim your self-respect.
Good luck. Tell the special snowflakes that you all have to toughen up as a family for awhile.
It can be difficult to get a job, depending on where you live. If there have been lots of WFRs in the area, it doesn't help, either, since it becomes a "buyers market" for employers.
I have to wonder at the unsympathetic posts here. HPE has cast off a LOT of good people - it's not their fault they thought their loyalty would be rewarded by a company that has, until the last decade or so, been pretty decent to career-minded employees. It's not there fault MEg and her cronies are devoid of ethics or common decency.
@2fpg... It's that easy, right? What a stupid, simplistic comment... Typical Corporate HR response minimizing the true impacts of layoffs.
Since July?? I've known plenty of HPE people get a job within 60-90 days.
Please stop whining, feeling sorry for yourself, and hiding behind your children. Life is tough but so are we. Your measure of a father - as well as a husband - is on how well you endure stress and hardship.
Should mountain shake and tremble, be steady and do not tremble.
If you are concerned about buying things for them, find the closest Salvation Army store an go there; you will find lots of new or gently used stuff for the kids, yourself, and the wife.
OP, your kids will pick up and reflect whatever attitudes you are conveying, so this can be a "glass half full" instead of "glass half empty" time to demonstrate the spirit of giving and appreciation for having a beautiful family with lots of love to share. I found myself as an unemployed single parent several years ago during the holiday time when my kids were about that age. We made inexpensive homemade crafts and baked goods for friends and family and each other and the kids were fabulous - they really got into the spirit of deciding what special artwork or Christmas cookie or whatever else to make for grandparents, aunts/uncles, and each other. All the family recipients were on board with it and thought their "gifts" were adorable. My kids are now college age and that year is some of their favorite childhood memories of the holidays because it was much more interactive for them and they really enjoyed being the "giver" instead of the "receiver" more than I expected. They remember all the special treats they made and how proud they were of their creations much more than other years of receiving expensive toys and other gifts they no longer remember or care about now. Try to spin this into a positive learning experience of the joy of giving, "it is the thought that counts" for gifts, and teaching them what truly matters as much as you can and this will be a valuable experience for your kids to take with them as they face their own challenges later in their lives - maybe even the same situation some day. In retrospect, that year now holds many special memories for me, too. Good luck, keep your chin up and the kids will be fine - they are more resilient than you realize.
This is the side of layoffs media never wants to talk about. They can easily say 5,000 layoffs here, and 7,000 more there, but they never talk about what that really means to all those families.
I was in your situation many years ago with two small children and no job. In my case they were raised as Christians and they understood that Christmas was a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus, not how many gifts were under the tree. While I was not able to get them everything they wanted on Christmas Day, I did manage to get them a few things on their list. The grandparents and other family members were also helpful during this time. The kids were happy with the gifts that they did get and the whole thing went a lot smoother than what I was expecting. This may seem like the worst point in your life, but I promise things will get better. I know...I was there.
Dont stress out about xmas presents. just show the kids love and if you have to explain, just be honest.
This eupoean retail holdiay called xmas has people feeling depressed over a commecial holiday.....always remember the wisemen brought Jesus gifts because he was a king and its customary to do so..they DID NOT being gifts for each other, so dont feel pressured if you can get your kids gifts while you are out of work, so them love and be the best dad you can be until you get back on your feet
I see MegBe is still lurking and posting on the boards here. No sympathy... just... wow.
Apologists for Meg need to understand these "layoffs" (not layoffs at all, just pink slips as a reward for years or even decades of service) affect more than one person. Entire families are affected and their lives in ruins so Meg and her cronies can scrape a few more dollars out of their stock options.
Hopefully you can find work soon... tough time but jobs are out there. I'd also say try not to be too bitter about HP in the company of others until you have a new job secured. Many don't understand just how drastic this has been, how negative of an impact Meg Whitman has had on the US and EU economies with her policies. It can be off-putting in interviews. Be willing to take a pay cut from your previous position, with the knowledge that a good employer will reward your skill and experience with raises and bonuses that will soon see you ahead of where you were at HP/HPE.
A layoff is a whole-family event. EVERYONE needs to cooperate, regardless of the age. Life isn't a fairy tale, so it's never too early to tell them what to expect when they grow up. Instead of looking for sympathy, start teaching them how to be entrepreneurs, so they don't need to deal with this crap.
You brought tears in my eyes :-(
I pray that you get job soon.