If multiple people contribute to a post, the credit is awarded to whoever last posted it.
Be sure to include qualifiers like “allegedly” and “unconfirmed” when the contents of your post aren’t strictly true but you’re really raring to print it anyway.
Avoid unnecessarily colorful language, for gloom and woe be unto any bard who bestows the facile narrative with a spirit it did not encompass.
Use profanity only when it’s a crucial part of a direct quotation. Do not rely on filler f---s to pad your word count.
Convey to your reader that the post is over by always ending with the signoff, “Love, Company Troll.”