Here is the #gold phrase list used by VZ managers, top 10 only:
Failure is not an option.
I'm always open to feedback.
It is what it is.
It just wasn't meant to be.
Let's not reinvent the wheel.
Perception is reality.
That's probably not what you want to hear.
There is no I in team.
We'll do it now and apologize later.
Work smarter, not harder.
We need to take a deep dive at a high level from a business perspective to make sure we are aligned on when to circle back with leadership on the front line issue that dovetails with the value proposition our customers can deliver for our shareholders to enable a better employee experience through the design and implementation of a best in class finance organization. Can i be ceo now?
Find a way to Yes. I wonder if her husband used that technique.
"we must return value to the shareholders" (i'm a shareholder so can you please fire yourself)
"I'll call you back" (a text response to you phone call, then never calls back)
"I'm calling security because I fell threatened by your words"
"Don't say another word or you will face disciplinary action up to and including dismissal."
"Don't call me, I'm too busy. Send me a detailed text from your flip phone instead."
"We need to find more efficiencies" --forget the hundred things you need, what else can we take away
Deliver the promise
bwahahahahahahahahaha this thread is awesome.
"When did you tell me?" (last month) "You should have told me more recently"
"When did you tell me?" (last week) "You should have told me further in advance"
"I'm the boss" (of what?)
"Why didn't you leave by 8:20am." (my truck had 2 flat tires) "Dammit! we're not here to talk about flat tires, so again why didn't you leave by 8:20am.?"
"There's no "I" in TEAM" (there's actually no F-in TEAM here)
"Who told you to do that" (you did)
"Any Questions?" (yes, a hundred or so) "Moving on then"
"'MY boss' wants to know why you had 4 hours at a work location last month?" (I had a 1/2 day vaca)
"Do you know who manny san pedro is?" (no and i don't care)
"My wife is a squirter, have that report on my desk first thing in the a.m."
Why did you go to the C. O. two weeks ago
Better Matters! Great Post
Don't forget "do more with less"
"Can't you temp it?"
"We need to stay off the radar."
Change Energizes Us!
(Ya, well you can KMA with that slogan)
"If you can't come in on Saturday, don't bother coming in on Sunday."
It is better / safer to be Wrong with the majority than to be Right by yourself.....Especially in VES - I.T.
What are your Big Rocks - Meaning how does the company prevent you from doing your job correctly
"Deep Dive" Meaning lets find someone other than me to blame for my mistake
My door is always open
Please cascade this amongst your group.
If you don't like it, McDonald's is hiring.
"I don't think you understand, this not a OR equation. It is a AND equation."
"I need you to work on a little 'stretch project'". - In other words, you didn't have any plans for the next 4 weekends, did you?
"It does without saying this project will require some 'discretionary effort'". - In other words, I severely underestimated the hours and you need to work your ass off so I don't look bad.
Gotta agree about the # sign. In my heart, it will always be a "pound sign". That's what it's always been called on a phone keypad.
"There is no I in team." - Usually said by someone that only wants to do it their way. Makes me want to say, "And there ain't no U either".
I submit these additional ones:
"I need you to think outside the box." - The person saying that one usually lives in a very small box.
"Let's take that offline." - In other words, let's talk about the real issues in private so no one else can hear.
"We have a new paradigm." - Ooh, don't I sound executive?
If you don't agree, maybe it's time you...
It is what it is.
This saying comes with the chest puffed out as they think somehow by saying this they have imparted some mystical intelligence that you would have otherwise not have received in your lifetime.
Very f*ucking annoying, but what isn't here.
GREAT POST!
#gold? Whats with the hashtag, or as we used to say, "number sign" or "tic tac toe board"? I went to twitter and that tag had tweets about teeth, the rising price of said gold, and a Spandau Ballet zinger. Nothing whatsoever about Verizon or any low rent seafood chain that I wont mention in this particular post. I dont want to get any panties in a bundle...... That list could be way better. How about "Guys, guys, guys!" or "Who shit on my desk?" or of course, "So and so is in charge today". By the way, never wear a blindfold to work unless your a magicians assistant. Multiple OSHA violations there Brad. Stop laughing out loud because its not funny
Oh perception is reality!!! No wonder I couldn't make it when I took off the blind fold and realized I was the one being spun...and when I pointed it out...I was still crazy lol. Thank you for posting.
"Too bad, so sad."