Thread regarding Qualcomm Inc. layoffs

From the Union Tribune, November 17, 2015 (--With apologies to DFW, author of "The Pale King."

QUALCOMM WORKER FOUND DEAD FOR 3 DAYS

Supervisors at Qualcomm's regional headquarters in San Diego, CA are trying to determine why no one noticed that one of their employees had been sitting dead at his desk for three days before anyone asked if he was feeling alright.

Harvey Prune, aged 50, who had been employed as a Staff Engineer with Qualcomm for ten years suffered a massive coronary in the "cube farm" he shared with eighty-five coworkers in building AT. While the San Diego County Coroner places the time of death at approximately noon on Monday, Prune's body was not discovered until the janitorial staff came in to clean after midnight on Wednesday, and one worker observed that he had been working with the lights off.

Prune's supervisor, known to his coworkers as "Dev," said, "Harvey was always one of the first guys in each morning, and often worked late at night. He was always focused on his work, and kept pretty much to himself. It's a shame.... The last of his stock would have vested next month...."

Ironically, Prune was working on programs for medical devices made by Qualcomm at the time, and was wearing a beta-test model of their newest heart and blood pressure monitor. The monitor was supposed to sound an alarm in a medical emergency. Unfortunately, it appears there was not enough natural light in the "cube farm" to power the device's solar-charged battery.

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| 514 views | | 13 replies (last April 7, 2015) | Reply
Post ID: @OP+APfRR71

13 replies (most recent on top)

This is awesome. OP, u rule

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Post ID: @40a5+APfRR71

Harvey was a hamster in a hamster wheel.

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Post ID: @2mJC+APfRR71

RIP, Q should have provided voluntary package option to all, that should have prevented the tragedy

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Post ID: @2rQb+APfRR71

CFO George McFly is gonna think about how many shares to buy back for Lorraine.

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Post ID: @1la6+APfRR71

Back to the Future. Qualcomm can invent a hover board to float the stock price.

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Post ID: @156c+APfRR71

@87580: The "Official Story" from QC made it seem as though the 2 guys who jumped off WT had mental health issues. If this post is even remotely descriptive, maybe it wasn't really the problem of the guys who jumped.

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Post ID: @1wCs+APfRR71

Too bad that the two dudes who jumped off of WT wasn't a joke also.

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Post ID: @1YDn+APfRR71

@ 87550: Wow.... Definitely a succinct description of the soul-sucking essence of a workplace.

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Post ID: @1bLG+APfRR71

A little late for April Fools Day.

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Post ID: @1iRo+APfRR71

OBVIOUSLY it's not real, unless you have a DeLorean time machine. But it could very well happen!

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Post ID: @1tYZ+APfRR71

is there a link to this article? Thanks.

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Post ID: @16Fo+APfRR71

R.I.P.

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Post ID: @1MqW+APfRR71

Je suis Harvey Prune!

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Post ID: @Hsj+APfRR71

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