Thread regarding Nike Inc. layoffs

I wonder what JD does…

…as he wakes up in the morning to prepare for another day of hard work? What’s his internal monologue like?

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| 1351 views | | 11 replies (last September 6, 2024) | Reply
Post ID: @OP+1ujOwdrk

11 replies (most recent on top)

Wake up. Meditate. Jack it. Go to work. Ki-l the company. Come home. Jack it. Go to bed a millionaire.

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Post ID: @4kgv+1ujOwdrk

"Lost a pound of flesh but I still have hair."

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Post ID: @1rzo+1ujOwdrk

“Shoot, we made some pretty big mistakes. Let’s make sure to get it right this time.”

(Proceeds to make even bigger mistakes, digging a deeper hole)

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Post ID: @1fuc+1ujOwdrk

JD: I look like a real Ceo! Fake it til you make it!

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Post ID: @1pix+1ujOwdrk

Just jackin it ..

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Post ID: @xwb+1ujOwdrk

He's probably one of those psychopaths without an internal monologue.

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Post ID: @hdj+1ujOwdrk

Counts his money

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Post ID: @bys+1ujOwdrk

Modified from an old Doonesbury strip:

Q: JD, sometimes I image you must get up in the morning, look in the mirror before you've shaven, and think to yourself: "JD, you're about to begin another day of evasion and deceit."

Here's the question, JD: What do you do after you've come to such a realization?

A: I shave.

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Post ID: @ocf+1ujOwdrk

I’m JD, the servant king,
On day one, I promised the change I’d bring.
With "servant" on my lips, oh, what a delight,
But the knives in my hands stayed hidden from sight.

“You asked for this!” I cried with flair,
As I slashed through the ranks without a care.
Layoffs galore, but don’t look so grim—
It’s all part of my masterful, servantly whim.

My CDA plan was genius, you see,
A Consumer Direct Acceleration spree!
But as the stock price tumbled, the market did too,
I shrugged it off—“It’s the servant thing to do!”

And let’s not forget my partner in style,
HON, with her crocodile smile.
In designer threads, she parades around,
A brand president with no real ground.

Flying high in my corporate jet,
From home to office, no sweat, no fret.
But I’ll preach green virtues with a straight face,
While burning jet fuel, I set the pace.

Innovation, I declare, needs four days at the grind,
Two WFH? That’s falling behind!
Our downfall was clear, let’s not be naive—
We just didn’t spend enough time toiling under the fluorescent reprieve!

So here’s to my reign, as I drive Nike down,
With HON by my side, in her designer gown.
We’re the dynamic duo, the talk of the town,
Servant leaders, indeed, in our hollow, golden crown.

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Post ID: @mpi+1ujOwdrk

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the most best and most handsome CEO, of them all?
I'm better looking than Bezos, and taller than Cook, so why don't the plebs at Nike give a f**k?
They're lucky to have me. They just don't understand. I'm the finest servant leader in the land!

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Post ID: @dft+1ujOwdrk

I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!

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Post ID: @snt+1ujOwdrk

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