Radical change coming by end of year.
** Geographies **
- NA moves all data services to Toronto eh, Digital hub that costs less. JH comes back to lead.
- EMEA HQ moves to Ireland, as the tax accord with the Netherlands is done. Irish EM (former GM/VP of affiliates and EMEA) is chief advisor on the move.
- China is exited as a geography, as “Asian people aren’t diverse”. Official DEI policy.
- APLA splits the difference and moves employees based in AS building to Honolulu. They add Africa, Antarica and the Artic as new territories.
** Categories **
- In addition to the new “hot” and “cold” categories to serve APLA, there is a return to the roots. Cross-functional teams now focus on the “athlete” serving the core sports again. Who would have thought that was a good idea?
- The categories of “women”, “men” and “I choose not to identify” (and others) are disbanded, because that’s not how people who are serious about sports uniquely identify.
** Functions **
- Innovation is expanded, focusing on AirBag 13.0 (bigger, wider but…. SLIMMER). The new AirMI factory blueprint is bigger, wider but… SLIMMER as a result.
- Manufacturing is all brought in house, in anticipation of the AB13 launch, to protect IP. Legal places a huge retainer with a Chinese law firm, creates a new VP position to look at transfer of liability.
- Design is let loose, with all legacy products and color palettes removed from their servers. Productivity initially drops significantly, but then they find their stride again.
- Marketing gets edgy again, preparing for the 2026 World Cup on home NAFTA soil (that’s Canada, America and Mexico… Beaverton). Their campaign is titled “Borders don’t exist, except on the pitch”. They lose their final 3 DJT supporters who hand up their monarchs for good.
- HR and Finance: Artificial Intelligence is proven to outweigh Human Intelligence. All services are outsourced to OpenAI.
- Notable retirements: MM, HON.
- Notable moves: MF moves from the board of United to become CEO, to help “create further separation from the competition”. ?
- JD transitions to retirement and board work, helping Ancestry, Exxon Mobil and Dollar Tree with their digital transformations.