OK guy, I may have type here because I am under the influence of Klonopin so I can calm down my panic attacks so ho easy on my grammar and verbiage
It has been two excruciating moth of applying around the clock and I have got two offers now. One from New York for 110 k and one from Califronia for 165k . These two came back to back and of course NONE are really what I wanted... I am thankful for having these because I am a bread winner of a household with 3 children . I am waiting for the final interview of a company I really like next week . The third interview is gonna be after the expiration of these two offers. I have to sign at least one of them before I could attend the final interview of company C that is my choise....
What am I gonna to do? I have no one around me to give me some advice. Dad has passed away while ago ....
I could not expedite the interview from company C and I could not buy more time from company A or B. Just thinking about living in California with 160 k and three kids gives me panic attacks but that is the only viable option and by the way the company is kind of a start up so this position has a high chance of failure in about a year... Help me please... I have no one in the picture as a mentor to help me and please do not bring hate or drama in here. I have to relocate because of any of these with 3 kids and leave behind my lovely home in Portland....
7 replies (most recent on top)
Congrats on the offers! I agree with the others that you should choose one to accept now, but still do the interview with company #3 next week.
I would lean towards the CA job based on salary alone since you are the breadwinner with kids. I wonder if you could negotiate being remote at first, maybe for a few months to give you time to move (this would also give you time to keep looking in case you're not sold on CA).
It will all work out! Good luck OP!
take a deep breath first, slow down... it's understandable that you're feeling stressed out with these decisions especially under the influence of meds, break it down into chunks and go step by step...
for new york (110k), although this might seem lower, consider the stability and long-term prospects of the company, maybe there is something there.... look into the cost of living in new york and the potential for career growth (not sure about your age but if you have more time to build your career this may be an option)... for california (165k), while the higher salary is attractive, you mentioned it's a startup with a high chance of failure within a year. consider the cost of living in california and the job security, cali can be VERY VERY expensive...
with three kids, stability would be crucial. think about the impact of each job on your family life, including schools, healthcare, and overall quality of life. relocating is a major step. how will the move affect your children and your partner...
timing seems to be the most iomportant thing here as well. if you can't speed up the interview with company c (maybe?) and you can't delay the offers from company a or b, you might have to make a temp decision... consider accepting the offer that provides the most stability and aligns with your family needs right now. you can still attend the final interview with company c and see what happens..
if you go with california, be prepared for the risk and have a plan b in case the startup doesn't work out... networking and keeping an eye on other opportunities could help. for new york, even with a lower salary, the stability might give you peace of mind and a steady environment for your kids...
$$$ is always super imporant - compare the net salary after considering the cost of living in both places. think about the long-term money implications of each choice. you know all of this but i felt i had to say it...
now, back to your stress - mental health is as important as all of this together.... maybe you should choose the option that reduces your stress and anxiety... sometimes, the peace of mind and stability of a lower-paying job can outweigh the potential benefits of a higher-paying but riskier position.
trust ur gut, and whatever choice you make, it will be the right one for you and your family at this moment... reach out to any friends/family/mentors/anyone for extra support and perspective if you can.... you're not alone in this, and you'll get through it.
good luck, and take care of yourself.
Well, consider the areas of CA and NY that you would need to live as not all areas are expensive. Always look up housing in those areas on Zillow to see what they go for and your budget. CA is a beautiful state with a lot of opportunities. It’s also not far from Texas that has a lot of opportunities as well.
Good luck!
Great to see people being supportive on here and sharing advice. Best of luck, OP. We’re cheering for you and your family.
Bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, take the offer in California but don't shut down the one you are still interviewing with. If all goes well you land the one you really want before having to relocate to California. Sure it will be painful to tell the company in California that you are not coming but there is no loyalty in the employment world anymore. Sadly you have to watch out for you and your children. Worst case scenario you have a job in California for a while until the market gets better.
@gpn+1tyhdhVQ The one that I really hope to get the offer is a very established one. My interview will be next week. The two companies who made offer are startups not knowing what they are doing and they had one stage of interview.... Would it be OK if I sign one of these offers for now and change my mind if I get a better offer ? HIghly unethical but could not manage the timing correctly. The third company has been dragging feet for months now . Please help
Really depends where in CA and NY, look at a cost of living calculator to help figure it out. Personally I'd aim for something in the middle, way cheaper to get off the coasts. Also 2 offers in just 8 weeks? you are not doing too bad. Maybe wait it out for something that's a better fit for you. Good luck!