Thread regarding Fiserv Inc. layoffs

Some Holiday cheer - of sorts

The 12 Days of Fiserv Christmas

On the first day of Christmas The Chairman gave to me
A slightly used Lenovo PC

On the second day of Christmas The Chairman gave to me
Two new plastic carry cases
And a slightly used Lenovo PC

On the third day of Christmas the Chairman gave to me
Three network cables, Two carry cases
And another used Lenovo PC

On the fourth day of Christmas the Chairman gave to me
Four expired emails, three network cables, two carry cases
And another used Lenovo PC

On the fifth day of Christmas the chairman gave to me
Five plastic rings (gold is expensive)
Four expired emails, three network cables, two carry cases
And took back my new Lenovo PC

On the sixth day of Christmas the chairman gave to me
Six Fiserv pen sets, five plastic rings, four expired emails, three network cables,
Two carry cases
And a very used Dell Latitude CS

On the seventh day of Christmas the chairman gave to me
Seven pads of paper, six Fiserv Pen sets, five plastic rings, four more dead emails, three network cables, two carry cases
And revoked my networking login id

On the eighth day of Christmas the chairman gave to me
Nothing – he was outta town, seven pads of paper, six Fiserv pen sets, five plastic rings, four cancelled emails, three network cables, two paper bags
And revoked my office entrance id

On the ninth day of Christmas the chairman gave to me
Nine office posters, nothing on the eighth, seven tiny post pads, six pen & pencil sets, five plastic rings, four more dead emails, three network cables, two carry cases
And another damn Lenovo PC

On the tenth day of Christmas the Chairman gave to me
Ten more freaking posters, nine taken home, nothing on the eighth, seven tiny post-its, six sets of crayons, five plastic rings, four cancelled emails, three network cables, two carry cases
And I lost the damn Lenovo PC

On the eleventh day of Christmas the Chairman gave to me
Eleven sets of posters, ten more than I needed, nine already trashed, eight – nothing, seven tiny post-its (blue), six sets of chalk, five plastic rings, four deleted emails, three phone cables, two carry cases
And replaced my lost Lenovo PC
On the twelth day of Christmas the chairman gave to me
My walking papers

So I burned my many posters, and the lousy post-its, threw away the chalk, hawked the plastic rings, deleted every email, hid the network cables and took the carry cases home, and Ebayed my five Lenovo PCs.

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| 1731 views | | 8 replies (last December 5, 2023) | Reply
Post ID: @OP+1pRy6pL6

8 replies (most recent on top)

On the first day of Christmas, my CEO said to me, back to the office, no remote decree.

On the second day of Christmas, no seats to be found, elbows touching, sickness going round.

On the third day of Christmas, the BH parking lot's a mess, no spots in sight, just endless stress.

On the fourth day of Christmas, the bus ride is bleak, satellite parking, the commute we seek.

On the fifth day of Christmas, squawking on the street, CEO D List celebrity no one wants to meet.

On the sixth day of Christmas, spread happiness emails arrive, morale takes a dive.

On the seventh day of Christmas, a memo arrives, in the office at least 7 hours, just work for our lives.

On the eighth day of Christmas, the CEO proclaims, no new hires, employees are to blame.

On the ninth day of Christmas, morale hits the floor, no joy in cubicles, only corporate abhor.

On the tenth day of Christmas, CEO calls us spoiled, everyone recoils.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, everyone is sick and the CEO's still a d.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, our wish in despair, old Fiserv culture, a dream so rare.

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Post ID: @4mga+1pRy6pL6

Don’t quit your day job bro

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Post ID: @1for+1pRy6pL6

O got a Microsoft surface notebook that crashes 3 times a day and is too underpowered to run more than 2 apps - Sapience and Teams, then they wonder why I can’t get anything done.

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Post ID: @1opp+1pRy6pL6

Your manager was supposed to request a "developer laptop" instead of the standard laptop.

It is ok though because you don't have permission to run any applications at all.

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Post ID: @1vui+1pRy6pL6

Lenovo and HP PCs? They're handing out underpowered Surface laptops to my team. We're an engineering team and watch the machines struggle to run office, let alone Visual Studio or some of the other DevOps apps we use daily.

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Post ID: @1wrf+1pRy6pL6

You got a Lenovo PC? I got a lousy HP...

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Post ID: @1tze+1pRy6pL6

i had fun writing it - not really proper for this board and I know that !!! But still it is the season of cheer. LOL

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Post ID: @1jtj+1pRy6pL6

I ain't readin all that

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Post ID: @1iqf+1pRy6pL6

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