Edited, and Retitled:
How Long Will It Take These Fools to Figure Out I’ve Accomplished Nothing
Wells Fargo CEO Charlie Scharf offered a candid (nonsensical) response at this week’s annual meeting to a question he hears frequently:
Why is it taking so long to turn around Wells Fargo???
Scharf was brought in as CEO in October 2019 to help the bank move beyond its woes.
"When I arrived at Wells Fargo in 2019, we were not as far along as I had expected,"
( ”I didn’t ask any questions since the halfwitted BOD offered me double the previous CEO.)
At the time, Wells had in place 12 open public enforcement actions, notices from regulators that changes were needed. "Given this and the other control issues we needed to assess, it took many months (years) to understand the depth and breadth of the weaknesses and what was required to complete the work." The bank now has 9 (WTF??) open public enforcement actions, signaling just how far Wells still has to go to right the ship. (3 years to settle 3 out of 12 enforcement actions = 9 years left, but no one is willing to say that.)
Scharf also pointed to the bank overhauling its senior leadership team (people he owes favors to) since he arrived, with several new executives joining the bank’s operating committee. “These new leaders had to make their own assessments and plans to address issues in their areas of the bank as well as build out their own teams.”(We’re all making laughable amounts of money while tellin y’all how complicated this work is.)
"We continue to strengthen the leadership team, and we are executing on our strategic objectives," Scharf said. (What, exactly, are these so-called strategic objectives?) "We are focusing on businesses where we can generate appropriate risk-adjusted returns." (We are eliminating businesses we don’t know how to manage)
"Our No. 1 priority (smirk) continues to be building a risk and control infrastructure appropriate for a company of our size and complexity," Scharf said. (😂)
"Simply said, the work to build the appropriate risk and control infrastructure and close consent orders takes years, when managed effectively," (It can’t be done. It will never be done.) Scharf said, adding that the decision on lifting a Fed-imposed asset cap on the bank is entirely in the hands of regulators. (It’s never going to happen and it’s not my problem. )