My brain recently came up with the chaotic ideas listed below. I am purely sharing them for "awareness" purposes. DO NOT do any of the things on this list. We must protest peacefully!
Personally, I plan to sit quietly at my desk like a rolemodel employee. That is the true path of resistance. I honestly have no idea why my brain keeps generating these wild thoughts. I need help. Please recommend a comedy club.
To ensure we maintain a completely safe, orderly, and undisturbed environment, please strictly avoid the following:
Do not waste company resources. For example, do not send empty elevators on joyrides, leave every light burning, run coffee machines just to pour the drinks down the drain, or use toilet paper to cause plumbing emergencies.
Cafeteria Boycott: Do not avoid the company cafeteria.
Hardware Sabotage: Do not unplug office devices.
Strict Work-Life Balance: Do not refuse to log in from home after hours.
Do not disturb your hardworking colleagues.
Corporate Gossip: Do not spread unverified rumors.
Do not use anonymous platforms like X or Reddit to coordinate synchronized mass sick days at specific office locations.
Do not coordinate synchronized car honking flash mobs in the parking lot.
Do not withhold or refuse to perform Knowledge Transfers.
Contractor Silent Treatment: Do not cut off communication or withhold project details from external contractors.
Internet Capacity: Do not stream mandatory video trainings all day long just to single handedly choke the office internet bandwidth.
Government Invitations: Do not report questionable hiring practices to immigration authorities, nor should you invite DHS or USCIS agents to tour the facility. Definitely do not hand over specific managers' names to immigration enforcement.
Do not skip office potlucks, team lunches, corporate activities, or volunteer events. e.g. If they ask you to dress up Red, wear Red not Green. Don't eat at the potlucks that you have not contributed to or invited to
Do not cancel your Citi credit cards or cashback accounts, and do not tell everyone else to do the same because we have to make the bank great again. MCGA.
Do not share any intrusive thoughts.
Protest peacefully!