Cicely Simpson wrote about this, and it's worth building on.
Every leader gets tested by a moment they didn't choose.
And you can't control the moment, but you can control whether you hand over your composure or hold onto it.
These are the 7 moments that test that composure, and what to say instead of reacting:
1️⃣ Someone talks over you in a meeting
↳ Hold your point, then keep going.
↳ Say this: "I'll come back to you in a moment, let me finish this point first."
2️⃣ Someone questions your decision in front of the room
↳ Show you're willing to explain, just not right then.
↳ Say this: "Happy to walk through the reasoning, let's take it after this meeting so we don't lose time."
3️⃣ Someone takes credit for your work
↳ Put the credit back where it belongs.
↳ Say this: "I want the team to know this started with [name]'s work last quarter."
4️⃣ Someone uses a dismissive tone with you
↳ Ask them to repeat themselves, calmly.
↳ Say this: "I want to make sure I'm hearing this the way you intend it. Can you say that again?"
5️⃣ Someone tries to bait a reaction out of you
↳ Decline to engage.
↳ Say this: "I'm not going to respond to that right now. Let's stay focused on the decision in front of us."
6️⃣ Someone goes over your head
↳ Name what you expected instead.
↳ Say this: "I'd have appreciated hearing this from you first. Let's talk it through directly next time."
7️⃣ Someone undermines you in writing
↳ Move the conversation somewhere it can actually get resolved.
↳ Say this: "I see it differently. Happy to talk it through rather than go back and forth here."
Staying someone your team trusts matters more than winning whatever moment is in front of you.
Every leader has a moment like this waiting for them, this month or next quarter.
And how you handle it becomes the story your team tells about you afterward.
Most leaders react to protect their ego in the moment.
But the ones who don't protect something that matters more, their team's trust in them going forward.