Thank you, Davy, for counting our clicks,
Seventy-three percent fell for your tricks.
You say “engaged,” we say “tired,”
Of culture shifts that got us fired.
“Not family, not loyalty, forget the past,
Market-based merit will save us at last.”
Translation plain: the perks are gone,
But hey—just smile and carry on.
You write of hubs, and moving folks near,
While cutting the jobs we once held dear.
Real estate’s trimmed, the chairs are broke,
But don’t worry—our “culture” is bespoke.
You praise disruption like it’s divine,
While pensions shrink and benefits decline.
“Win as One” you preach each day,
Unless we choose to walk away.
“If change offends, irrelevance ki-ls,”
Yet somehow we’re footing the corporate bills.
Twenty-three billion spent, you say with pride,
But tools still crash and systems collide.
So thanks for the memo, pages long,
Half pep talk, half “you’re thinking wrong.”
We’ll keep working while you proclaim,
“Our best days ahead!”—sure, Davy, sure… same game.