- You get more emails about 'Purpose' than you do about your actual job. (Bonus: the email server crashes halfway through reading them.)
- Your most-used phrase is: “Wait… they laid off WHO??”
- The only thing more unstable than the org chart…is your mental health after reading the org chart.
- The company motto has quietly changed from “Building Better Lives” to “Rebranding Terminations as Growth Opportunities.
- Truist’s definition of innovation? Recycling every toxic Wells Fargo executive they can find and calling it a “leadership refresh.”
- You updated your LinkedIn so many times, the algorithm thinks you’ve been laid off six times in one year
- “Town Hall” is now code for: “We have bad news, but we added music and emojis to soften the blow.” (And no, questions are still not allowed.)
- HR just launched a new course titled:
“How to Smile While Laying Off Your Entire Team.”
- Executive bonuses went up 19% last quarter — coincidentally the same percentage of people who vanished from your department.
- And the #1 Sign You Work at Truist… Building better lives... somewhere else.
To all the poor unfortunate souls still trapped inside the Truist tornado, know this: you’re not crazy — you’re just caught in a place where reality left the building three reorgs ago. If nothing else, I hope this Top Ten List brought a small, defiant smile to your face — a reminder that even when the leadership loses its mind, you haven't lost yours. Stay strong. Stay sane. And remember: sometimes the best rebellion is simply laughing harder than they can lie.
trustless@truist.com