Forcing people back to the office does not automatically force employees to collaborate.
Enter ‘Collaboration Agitation’ a project Raindrops initiative, where small ideas create slippery surfaces.
‘Collaboration Agitation’ forces RTO employees to lean into the spirit of collaboration through expert guided agitation activities. Each agitation activity will reward employees with a badge and graduate them to the next level. The five levels of collaboration agitation (CA) are as follows:
- CA Level 1: Bathroom collaboration - 5 Stalls, One Roll. In this exercise we deploy one roll of toilet paper at a time in support of all bathroom stalls. As employees need to wipe, they will need to negotiate and collaborate with each other to pass the roll under each stall for a successful outcome. As the roll becomes smaller, employees will need to build trust and work as a team to ensure there is enough for everyone and that the roll will make it back in time to the next wiper.
- CA Level 2: Pin The Layoff on the Donkey. Level 2 builds on employee collaboration agitation by empowering employees to vote one employee to go on the layoff block each week. On the last business day of each month, one employee from the layoff block will be voted out and laid off. This exercise enables self-policing of collaboration levels amongst employees. Over time, those that don’t actively collaborate, engage and posses a likable and welcoming demeanor, will eventually be gone.
- CA Level 3: Rocket Man. In this final phase of Collaboration Agitation, employees must bring their expert collaboration A game to work with them each and every day. As construction completes in Alpharetta, Dallas and elsewhere, we will be showcasing a new and exciting office ejection systems leveraging high speed quantum hydraulics. As employees take their random seats each day, the seat will activate a sophisticated IoT sensor that monitors bad behaviors as trained by a Bad Behavior AI Model (BBAI). Too loud? The employee is physically ejected from their seat towards a chute leading to a pile of dung in the nearby parking lot. Not enough talking? Ejection. A pause in keystrokes? Ejection. Stinky lunch brought to your desk? Ejection. Laughing during a town hall? Ejection. Discussing sports and weather with neighbor? Multiple Ejections triggered.
Warning and disclaimers: As with any AI model, nothing is 100% perfect. Note that accidental triggers may occur in the “Leadership Protection algorithm” so avoid using words such as bald, hairless, cueball, and narcissistic.