Thread regarding AT&T layoffs

T (2030)

Let us take a whimsical journey into the future of T in the year 2030.

  • The Ticket 2 Ride program celebrates its 10th year anniversary and Heidi is awarded a commemorative bronze plaque of the programs 10,000th feature.
  • Sadness looms in the hallways as leadership teams learn that Sleepy Ward has fallen into a deep sleep after eating snow whites poison apple. Wards meetings continue bau with him still hosting.
  • T offshore employees celebrate their achievement as the world-wide leader in pharmaceutical sales, IRS scams, mcafee virus support and Ticket 2 Ride coding in one location.
  • 2nd quarter 2030 layoffs are announced bringing the projected employee count to 150 employees. John and Jeremy celebrate as newlyweds on the anniversary of their transitions, each declaring each other employee of the month.
  • Dallas headquarters is renamed TechM Plaza as T defaults on the mortgage. TechM announces a complete revamp of bathroom facilities with mini wash tubs replacing sinks and toilets and the addition of cages for chickens.
  • After nearly 5 years of resistance, RTO returns to hybrid. Jeremy blames the failure on metric flaws due to the 2 hour laptop boot up times choking on employee monitoring spyware.
  • T introduces a new logo of a square peg inserted into a round hole to signify its historical significance of sc--wing its past employees.
  • New CEO bobo the monkey and its trainer are scheduled to visit next week at TechM Center. bobo will be replacing Stankey. Rumors say Stankey will be flogged with bananas

on a live town hall.

by Anonymous
| 1001 views | | 8 replies (last January 16, 2025) | Reply
Post ID: @OP+1jhqr5fyr
Comment! It's anonymous!

8 replies (most recent on top)

Pretty sure mentioning TechM or anything Indian triggers a bot storm of thumbs down. Ditto for anything related to China. Not many humans left out here in the interwebs.

by Anonymous
| | Reply
Post ID: @be+1jhqr5fyr

Lol the thumbs down bot contractors have arrived. Glad the company has money for that and not severance.

by Anonymous
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Post ID: @b1+1jhqr5fyr

Lame as usual

by Anonymous
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Post ID: @az+1jhqr5fyr

Your talent is wasted here, OP. Your gift for satire is desperately needed in media.

by Anonymous
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Post ID: @aw+1jhqr5fyr

This is absolutely epic & true. Thanks for making me smile today. How many years now has the joke of T2R been around already?

by Anonymous
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Post ID: @as+1jhqr5fyr

“ 2030 T will be gone and nobody will remember that it ever existed”

Exactly!

by Anonymous
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Post ID: @aj+1jhqr5fyr

2030 T will be gone and nobody will remember that it ever existed. Maybe some skeleton crew will work in India supporting POTS.

by Anonymous
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Post ID: @aa+1jhqr5fyr

2030 musings

  • headcount is down to 50k, most being retail store employees
  • the last people from bothel, Atlanta, and bedminster get their RTO orders to Dallas. El segundo, San Ramon and all the other locations closed 2 years ago.
  • boomers still working and won’t retire, the few that are still left. Still waiting on that severance or package. Most say they only want to work another 2-3 years.
  • most Gen X have already retired or moved on
  • millennials have taken over, most stepping over one another to get to that next rung. Complaining about the boomers not leaving, wondering why no one knows how to do anything and why systems keep breaking (gen x retired), and the lack of talent and dedication in the younger workers.
  • Gen z works an average of 6 months and leaves, they say ok boomer to the millenials. every other company pays more and they get to work remote. ATT is the lone holdout with 5 days in office. They struggle to get anyone to work for them.
  • all tech work is in India and China has hacked us for the 1000 time. No one can figure out how that keeps happening. Most of the code doesn’t work as expected, loads slowly, takes forever to launch or fix anything, but no one else can code anymore. So they keep subbing out the subs for more tech help.
  • AI is still a buzzword, most people use it to generate po-n, do their taxes and respond to others AI generated emails.
  • the CRM system still hasn’t launched.
  • global real estate sold all the property. Blackrock is happy to lease it back to us at inflated prices
  • TechM now the largest global company runs all IT, administrative and other functions. Nobody can figure out how to get basic things done.
  • field ops is entirely outsourced to CB Towers, only a few techs left in Dallas for visibility purposes
  • stank is finally happy with his culture.
by Anonymous
| | Reply
Post ID: @a7+1jhqr5fyr

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