Is it just me or is Agile a complete fraud. For every hour of work i do, i spend 24 hours doing what i would call process related work. I have to attend hours of scrum calls, story planning meetings, hours to write out user stories, hours to give updates, then half the time the work can't be done because of some other group. Or even during the sprint i end up getting tasked with 2X the work for random tasks that can't even be bucketed into an existing feature and the PO says it can't be bucketed without approval. Then i have to beg to move the story, or i have to go to some change control board to beg again. I have a PO and scrum master who ride me like a horse. I feel like a horse with 30 agile people driving me into the ground.
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you take agile too serious and not know how to buck the system.
firstly, the bank is not at all organized for agile - its organized for waterfall. so you get some twisted agile waterfall insanity.
unless EVERY dependent group is roped into agile then you will have gaps and fail.
DBA not agile and need commit for particular task? fail.
Server admin need change setting they not part scrum? fail.
Business not commit to come to scrums? fail.
Agile is designed to keep you in line, keep you fearful, and make sure everyone hears about your failure (social pressure).
How you defeat agile?
- if task take 30 minute, guess 3 days; let others defend why it take less time, and allow them to volunteer do less time.
- add more "research" tasks to anything and see #1
- create impediment tasks (dba/admin) as frequently as possible. This creates problem for scrum master they have to chase down and coordinate external groups.
- let code monkey in india take lead so spaghetti is created, and add task to "quality check/redo" and see #1
- Add dependencies to documentation and business logic - this puts problem onto business and likely they not in scrum
- Add "performance tuning" tasks to everything. That actually fun. Tweak and rerun under ddos load.
- Add infosec dependency to review for security. If someone argue against security that a ethic violation.
- Criticize anything coming out of india - bad code quality, big O fail (loops of loops), security violation, standards violation, etc etc. Dont offer to fix, thats scrum master job figure out what do, but document all in searchable file so when happen to you you have defense
- If they push to cut corners document in jira, and in searchable file. Make sure all cut corners are documented with email you save to pc.
- When that make stupid requests, just laugh. Don't take them so serious OP. Make them uneasy around you and you will get assigned less.