As a public service, here's what you missed:
We prefer the virtual meeting better because we don't have to see the disappointment in your faces given our performance.
We give lip service to climate change. That said, we think natural gas will greatly reduce CO2 emissions and there's quite a future in natural gas, so we are selling our natural gas assets because our motto is "buy high sell low..." Oh and we have a $3.3B loss on San Juan.
Oh! Oh!!!!!!! We forgot to mention that we have a $242 million loss on our "1000 feet of the pay" discovery Shenandoah (reference our March 19 2013 press release).
We can now definitely state that the cost of having a non-finance guy as CFO is a $200 million dollar currency exchange loss.
We have a "new" strategic planning and portfolio tool so all our problems are solved. This is the fifth one in five years but we are 100% certain we have it right this time because we are that good. We call it BARF (Business Analysis Resource Paralysis) because our EVP says the most Important thing is a good acronym and we can't spell. Early indication is maybe we should hedge low oil prices by merging with a downstream company.
Thanks, stockholders, shareholders, and employees, you have voted and shamed us as incompetent and overpaid. You know what they say about opinions, everyone has one (and ours doesn't smell). We will take this under advisement. Thanks for not bringing up the extra mothballed Gulfstream jet. Thanks for not bringing up our BFF in Exploration. P.S: employees: WE will get the last laugh.
In the absence of proper decisions we will continue our asset dispositions. Last year we cut off a hand. This year we severed two legs. Next year our plan is to have a new strategic planning tool. We are tentatively calling it LOSERS.