Thread regarding Occidental Petroleum Corp. layoffs

Oxy, is that you?

A Japanese company and a North American company decided to have a canoe race on the St. Lawrence River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile. The North Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat.

A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the North American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing. So, North American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion.

They advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.

To prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team’s management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder.

It was called the ”Rowing Team Quality First Program“, with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices, and bonuses.

The next year the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the North American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments in new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year’s racing team was outsourced to India.”

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| 4502 views | | 19 replies (last January 3, 2022) | Reply
Post ID: @OP+1dX9Zi1C

19 replies (most recent on top)

This fits XOM to a tee. Sorry to interrupt, but just visiting from XOM to see how well things are going in Greenway.

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Post ID: @Fltt+1dX9Zi1C

This post is on the nose.

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Post ID: @jvby+1dX9Zi1C

Old horse pucky.

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Post ID: @8kcn+1dX9Zi1C

NO! BLASPHEMER!!

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Post ID: @8fpt+1dX9Zi1C

No joke. There is deep beauty and mystic truth in this text. A group of us get together at a store front in the Heights and read it as preces.

No, seriously this is a stupid piece of sh-t. It was posted on the APC board a few years ago and when I criticized it, a flame war ensued until someone threatened to stab me in the eye.

I can't let anything go so I repost it periodically just to annoy people.

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Post ID: @6yev+1dX9Zi1C

This sophomoric attempt at satire has appeared on multiple company threads over the years. I doubt the OP was the original author, but he definitely wants us to believe so.

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Post ID: @5jhx+1dX9Zi1C

Come on now! Everyone knows OP wrote these last two posts. Nothing wrong with patting yourself on the back though.

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Post ID: @4evo+1dX9Zi1C

Every time I read this, it makes me chuckle. I find new insights about the world and face the day reinvigorated.

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Post ID: @3pei+1dX9Zi1C

I would like to learn how to write with such depth and beauty ( doesn't even begin to describe it!). Maybe I could begin writing full time!

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Post ID: @3khg+1dX9Zi1C

This post gave me "oh face" while reading it.

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Post ID: @2inc+1dX9Zi1C

This made me laugh as much as the Power Point prospect in GoM

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Post ID: @1uez+1dX9Zi1C

"@tcp"?

A bit presumptuous addressing me by my first name, don't you think? Until we've been properly introduced, "MISTER +1dX9Zi1C", if you please.

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Post ID: @1rtz+1dX9Zi1C

I can’t believe I wasted 90 seconds of my life reading this thread.

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Post ID: @1uji+1dX9Zi1C

Should of worked in 167 fatalities and massive environmental calamities to the story. It would have been easier to believe it was Oxy then.

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Post ID: @1sjd+1dX9Zi1C

@tcp, you should quit, your diligence is noted and we’ll consider it when we get to the building maintenance category for bonuses

This post is absolutely in line with their management team and their actual intentions versus advertised goals.

“WE’LL PROTECT CLIMATE!!!!, but maybe not the groundwater…”

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Post ID: @1oxx+1dX9Zi1C

OMG! It's all there if you just open your mind!

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Post ID: @wwm+1dX9Zi1C

That's the ticket!!

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Post ID: @jvq+1dX9Zi1C

BEST! POST! EVER!

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Post ID: @uqx+1dX9Zi1C

An oldie…try something original next time.

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Post ID: @tcp+1dX9Zi1C

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