I was impacted last week after 18 years of excellent work. I had good relations/friendships with all my teammates all the way to the senior director. Everybody is avoiding me, wont respond to my DMs or text messages, not picking up phones. Basically they have ghosted me. What gives? I'm not asking you for handouts or asking you to fight for me to find another role. We were great buddies before but as soon as I got the boot, we are not buddies anymore. That's cold. Anyone got a similar vibe from the "lucky" ones?
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Recently my son was laid off from his putrid job at a bay area contract manufacturer. We talked about ex-work "Friends". Those people really weren't friends, they were just aquaintences who shared one thing in common, which is surviving the struggle of working with a band of id--ts who reported up the chain to another band of mo--ns. The only people you can count on, are your family - and some times not even them. That leaves only yourself....
@OP I'm sorry you were hit. I also left after 18 years. I was told Cisco is family and we care about each other. They were so sorry. I was a great co-worked and I'll be missed. They meant it.
When you get laid off you are on the cootie couch, no one wants to be near you. Cisco is a twisted, toxic place that is a total mind F^ck. Remember when you stayed and others got let go? You tried your best but it was back to work and justifying your job...work, work, work.
I know it hurts. For years I worked endless hours from home that I had no friends outside of work, that was a sad wake up call I had to answer. On a positive note, making new friends outside of work was all a good experience and I am so thankful for the friends I have now.
You'll recover. You'll find a better place to work and you won't have high expectations of your work "friends". You'll diversify your friendships with people tied to interests you love and make you happy. You'll dive into those interests because you now have time and its healthy! You'll go back to the friends you haven't connected with in a very long time because you've been working too darn hard. Your heart will grow two sizes too big because it will feel like you're picking up where you left off. Your true friends will stick with you and i promise they will mean more than you know now than ever before.
This is part of the LR transition. It gets better and you will be happier.
@bv LMAO....you were bugged for 2 years until you blocked him? I'm sorry, if you are a manager, and work for Cisco, you should know how to block someone soon. Stop complaining.
You know, kindness with boundaries goes a long way and makes you a nice human.
You deserve the day you have. I hope you are on the next LR list and are forced to eat the "special pie" you've been dishing to others.
Yes, first time LR in my career and got impacted last month. I tend to look at it as a glass half full. I have a very small group of 3-4 teammates who have gone out of their way to help me in any way they can. But many others, including specific people that I moved heaven and earth to promote and had their back are completely ignoring me. Not even a word from them, let alone a word of support.
I guess there is nothing like adversity and misfortune to separate your real supporters from the self-serving bunch that is unfortunately the majority. But rather than get upset or angry at this majority, I take immense solace that at least I have 3 people that I know have my back. This job market is brutal right now and we may even be looking at a recession coming. But if and when things turn around, and I am back at another opportunity, I will be sure to do everything in my power to help these people any way I can.
Call Ghostbusters if you get ghosted by your colleges after a layoff.
they ghost you now.. but in 12months(next LR cycle) your boss will call you asking where you are and how you are doing .. to send their peer managers/directors to your new place... you may need to ghost these people like they did to you.
Take a good break ! Prepare for interviews and get an awesome job . They will soon envy you! Trust Me !
Let me guess. When they need something they will reach out to you
This behavior exists in CSCO's acquisitions too! The toxicity permeates!
@ek yes. Part of that is because all these so called managers and PEs and DEs and Directors have spent soo much time here doing nothing that they have no network outside Cisco. They have their small bubble here and thats all they know and thats all who know them. I bet if you ask any of their previous colleagues they wouldnt even know them. Look at their LinkedIns. No recommendations which probably means noone cared enough or they didnt know anyone to ask for one.
What I noticed (especially in Cisco) is that there are very few people who say they can help you but when the time comes actually pull through. As selfish as it sounds. There is a lot of fake kindness here.
Experienced that when I was laid off in 2014. This "friend" used to insist on having coffee together everyday with me earlier. Then just started avoiding me after I got laid off.
One colleague who I was closely working with actually tried to hide when he saw me.
However, I was also pleasantly surprised by the help some senior colleagues offered. From sharing study materials to referring me at other companies, they did everything they could.
I just think of that as the phase where you get to know who are really your well wishers.
All the best!
Only dogs and women get unconditional love and care. Men (which I think you are @OP) DO NOT. We are on our own before marriage, after marriage, job, layoffs, break ups, bankruptcy everything
A Bronx Tale / Nobody Cares Scene
https://youtu.be/lh8yOioTKLY?si=unxd268DEAAvnJTO
"Listen to me, kid. Nobody cares. You worry about yourself... your family...the people who are important to you."
- A Bronx Tale (Movie) quote.
Great movie. Go lookup the clip on YouTube. Extremely true.
Sorry; just reality.
@bv you sound like a horrible person and an even worse manager. Who made you a manager ? First you layoff which may or may not be under your control and then you refuse to help them out ? Too many FLMs like you have made this place undesirable for years
All about family
https://ifunny.co/picture/manager-telling-me-we-re-family-me-who-has-applied-ken6SPEAB?s=cl
Heard from some but it was a very small list, I’ll make sure to keep them in mind for giving or requesting recommendations in the future.
Find those in your life outside of work that truly are your circle and be fiercely loyal to them (family, friends, old colleagues that become friends).
I stay I touch with people that leave and even meet them for a drink or dinner. We don’t have to be animals and I’d you can’t make friends at work that also su-ks. Now you should have a life and friends out side of work as well
Happened me also people I thought were decent just ghosted me bar a few .
Yes, this happened to me when I was LR'd.
Dirty politics caused by a certain member of leadership who was climbing the corporate ladder. This person was known for publicly belittling people on the office floor and making unprofessional remarks about them to others who were in their inner circle of su-k up loyalists. Their efforts resulted in ruining careers of talented IC's while hiring obedient loyalists on L1's and H1B's.
Once my LR news was public, most stayed away from me. Few people would engage. It was as if I had COVID and nobody wanted to get sick. I learned someone who I considered a work friend was saying horrible things about me behind my back to another trusted colleague.
If that wasn't enough, some of the former member of leadership's loyalists would try to reach out to me over social media to ask how I was doing, and where I was working. I knew right away they not to trust them, they were either looking to report back to someone else or looking for their own career opportunities.
Fast forward to present day. The person responsible for the dirty politics left the company. Their loyalists have scattered. I reconnected with a few people who I was closer to at that job. they were not involved in the politics or loyalists. We still talk once and awhile.
My advice would be to accept you will be ghosted. The workplace is not necessarily a place you are going to make loyal friends who will always have your back. Move onto another opportunity for awhile. Let time pass, let the dust settle. Only then should you consider attempting to reconnect with anyone you consider trustworthy.
Be mindful of people who want to play games. In the workplace there are plenty of fair weathered and impostor friends only seeking you out for opportunities or to learn your job whereabouts so they can gossip to others. Avoid them at all costs.
@c9 You nailed it. That's the right approach and attitude.
Work colleagues are not friends or family... No matter how much Fran tells you that.
I was laid off from another company years ago and it's fairly common, especially in an environment like Cisco where layoffs are culture, and terrifying. Lots of folks are scared, and there isn't a clear playbook for how folks are supposed to address you.
That said, if you were on the bubble anyway, or you weren't a very strong team member, they also might be talking about you behind your back and don't want to address you outright. Other times, your absence might give them some opportunities to take on bigger projects or do more exciting work, and they'd feel bad reaching out because they think the move put them in a better place. Without more information I can't say for sure.
What I can say is that I feel into a pretty deep depression after my layoff because I felt worthless, and it took me years to et out. Don't let that be your story. Take advantage of the counseling to process your grief and the coaching to put yourself in the best position moving forward.
No one is your friend at work. thats why you should not make it your life, do your work and go home!! Join a club or start a hobby.. even then..you ll get ghosted…
@OP this how it goes for most people that go through a layoff. You have professional relationships with ur colleagues but that doesn’t mean they are friends or will reach out to you once they are aware…. it’s a sad truth but it’s reality of the hunger games that Cisco creates. I did have a few real friends at Cisco that did reach out to me and were very supportive during the transition but that was only a handful after over 20 years at Cisco.
I am a manager and I ghost those who have been laid off from my team. I have been bugged many times by folks asking me to somehow give them their former role back. Others have asked me to "push their envelop" for them so they can secure a job in a different team. One guy had the audacity to keep bugging me on WhatsApp for 2 full years till I blocked him, then he started the same BS on Facebook. Move on if you've been laid off, this applies to any company.
Yes happened to me too, but some people were nice. Surprising when you got along well with people and they said nice things about working with you and then bam, you were laid off and they ghosted you. I plan to ignore any ghosters that reach out to me when they get laid off. So don’t even think about reaching out to people you ghosted
Very common experience at Cisco. They are not friends.
There are NO friends at work. As you have seen now. I am sure over your 18 years many of your peers and colleagues were laid off. How many are you in touch with and return their messages or helped them with their job search ? It always hurts when you're on the other side. Good luck and move on. Just like you would when someone breaks up with you.
This doesn’t sound like what decent, normal people would do. Were you management or HR?
Happens all the time. You are now an outsider, and you have a special LR disease.
No one wants to have any relationship whatsoever with a diseased person. You’re out of tribe. Time to move on.
Enjoy your new found free time ya weirdo.
Nobody liked you and have no use for you now
Yes, when I was LR'd in 2019, I was ghosted by many colleagues but not all. Be aware you'll be ghosted by recruiters and after interviewing for jobs as well.
That’s life. We all are competitors.
No the opposite.