Five years ago, today, while I was away on vacation - I received the call that dropped the bottom out of my world - but wound up being the absolute best thing to ever happen to my family.
It was a Monday @ 10 AM when I had a Zoom call with my old boss, and new boss, for some meeting that was innocuously labeled “performance results.” I’d been working on a number of high profile projects, this might have pertained to any of them.
Instead, 10 seconds into the conversation they informed me that I was taxing to the organization and was in the NSI rank group. I had the choice to take the PIP or PIL, yada yada yada. I remember not being able to breathe properly and turning my camera off. Surely this was a mistake?
These were people I’d spent more than 1/2 of my life with. We had moved from place to place across the country together. Attended showers - weddings - birthdays and funerals together. And now this? With zero forewarning? Just a few months earlier, I had received an award and accolades for being a critical member of the team.
What had changed?
Well, I turned 50 and refused to return to the office until I was fully vaccinated. I’d had one too many friends succumb to the ugly effects of long covid - or flat out die - to take any chances, what with four children at home. Apparently, they didn’t like that.
By the time I hung up, I knew I would never go back. Never to work at XOM, and never to Texas. Since we were away on vacation - we decided to never return. I’d rather take my chances, despite being the sole breadwinner with an impressive salary I knew I would likely be able to replicate, elsewhere.
Still, I took a leap of faith. It would have ki-led me to go back to a place that I knew didn’t value me as an employee or as a human. I definitely had a nervous breakdown, and questioned a million times over WTF I had just done… but I did it anyway. Sold the house from afar, donated most things because they were too expensive to move and updated FB I had a new hometown.
Then, the VP called and asked what I was doing and I needed to come back. It was a numbers game. It didn’t mean anything. Well, you should have started with that I told him. Because none of that had been conveyed and it sure as he-l meant something to ME.
Five years later - we have an awesome story to tell. Who goes away on vacation and never returns? Well, it turns out, I do. We live in a gorgeous area. Our children are thriving. My spouse is thriving in their own career. What was a chapter of uncertainty and incredible fear, has turned out to be the GREATEST BLESSING of our lives.
So, for those reading this: You may have already received the news, or maybe one day soon you will receive the news that you’re not valued. But you are. You are so important to people who mean a lot more than your “colleagues” at ExxonMobil.
Please, know your worth and do not settle. Be on good terms with everyone, but put yourself - and your family first. There is a huge world outside of ExxonMobil and things have a funny way of working out. Just imagine if your greatest dream came true … if you strove relentlessly towards it. This life is not a dress rehearsal. Make it count!
Chin up, and don’t give up!