How much are they paying 140% ?
23 replies (most recent on top)
@OP 121%, bean counters
@19n Effective February 1, 2027, all employees living within 80km of an office must report in person for the full day, Tuesday through Thursday. That's right, 80km. A truly tremendous number. Nobody has ever measured distance quite like this before. And why?COLLABORATION! HIGH PERFORMANCE! TEAM SPIRIT! All those beautiful corporate buzzwords that sound absolutely fantastic when you're trying to convince people that a three-hour commute is actually a career development opportunity.
Apparently, working remotely for years and delivering results wasn't good enough. We need people physically sitting in buildings to achieve greatness. I know more about collaboration than anyone. Nobody collaborates better. Believe me.
And the timing? Absolutely perfect. Just days after the stock price takes a hit, management comes up with this beautiful little masterpiece. Coincidence? Maybe. But it has all the hallmarks of a brilliant corporate strategy: make people's lives miserable, destroy whatever flexibility they have left, and wait for them to resign. No severance, no messy layoffs, no bad headlines. Just a voluntary departure. Tremendous savings!
And for those who refuse to participate in this exciting new experiment in corporate obedience? Well, they can be shown the door. Very efficiently. Very professionally.
Let's call it what it is: not a return-to-office policy, but a return-to-compliance policy. A fantastic plan. The best plan. The stock price may be struggling, but at least management has found a way to make sure employees are miserable three days a week. Winning!
@19n No announcement on bonuses yet.
Starting February 1st, 2027, all employees within 50 (yes, 50) miles of an office are required to be there for the full day Tue-Thurs. All in the name of “collaboration,” “high performance,” blah, blah, blah.
Coming mere days after the stock price drop, seems like a transparent effort to cause pain and make people quit, or just terminate them when they fail to comply.
Could a current employee tell us nosy ex-employees what is happening at the moment? From the sound of it they are not paying out bonuses to everyone even though the stock price drop was after 9/30? And are they mandating 3 days a week in office?
@18j. 0%
Ex F5 here, What is the target bonus percentage this year
@174 not 6? Thats where all of this is headed
@er In the office 4 days. Soon will be 5. Don't like it? GFYS!
@er Confirmed. You were right. Motherfu...s did it! Pushing people to resign.
@pp FLD is guaranteed his bonus by contract, shareholders can't take it since it was for performance before Oct 1. Employees are not guaranteed their bonus and it can be taken back to bump stock a bit.
@k2 so no bonus then for FLD then?
@hp and lots of $$$$$$$$$$
@k9 expected impact is the same as under performing
@ka many managers have negative impact. Why are they here? Oh, the same caste!?
F5 told there is no rating, only impact. So no bonus means, no impact created by someone. Why F5 keep them?
Workday shows 4 ratings, , where is the rating for under performing. Will anyone gets lesser than expected impact.
@fy no bonuses confirmed for employees rated at performing or underperforming
@f1 Because FLD needs $$$$$
@er What are the bonus cuts?
Why bonus cut when revenue exceeded analysis expectation
A meeting and hour ago confirmed bonus cuts and mandatory 3 days per week in the office for f5 employees 80km near an office. welcome to the new f5
You wish...
Worst stock drop of all time today, they may drop bonuses even though the number are from last fiscal.
Otherwise it may be major layoff time.