You should ask him next office hours on slack #ask-arvind :)
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I'm really sorry you're struggling. Been there. Honestly, post your question to Arvind in the #ask-arvind slack channel during the next office hours and tag your first line manager in the post. IBM is tightening its censorship grip in slack channels big time, but this is one of the only channels that gets exposure. I hope you find the help you need, or at least get to vent and call out our "leaders".
Always remember: IBM's HR is to protect IBM, not help you.
This morning was a prime example. You have the #Ask Asinine show with the Voice and some Ops guy from Rig Tech. They throw softball questions at these 'intellectual masterminds' and you get crickets and quick handoffs to the pompous rig dude who we all know is the stach's lap dogg. He gives horrible non-answer explanations and the other two are in awe, wow, awesome, amazement mode....LOL REALLY!?! Too funny.