Now I don’t want to make sport of the recent tragic events in Washington D.C., and Nairobi, Kenya. However, it has come to my attention that the most insidious letter was generated, and signed by no other than you guessed it: Alison in Wonderland linking the tragic events in Washington, and Nairobi to security measures being taken at CSE.
Are you kidding me or what? I haven’t stopped laughing yet! What in the hell does the events in Nairobi and L-3 have in common? I’m sure you’ll see the similarities:
The U.S. has issued travel advisory to east African country.
Maybe HR should issue travel warnings to CSE?
Terrorists are running rampant throughout shopping malls wreaking havoc and mass mayhem.
CSE has homeless folks roaming throughout the parking lot…Hmmm, Huh? Oh, I almost forgot. Some have broken into cars.
Terrorists are carrying weapons capable of mass destruction.
The folks at CSE are carrying screw drivers to pry open car door.
Kenyan police are armed and capable of using brute force.
CSE guards are unarmed and not able to leave their posts. Don’t you feel safe?
I just can’t connect the dots. Wait. I have it! Maybe Alison in Wonderland has confused the terrorist group-AL Shabaab with the old Quick Draw McGraw character-EL KABONG! BINGO!
Now that’s a legitimate reason for invoking Random Personal Effect Inspection as outlined in NISPOM, Paragraph 5-103. The only problem with this reference is that it clearly states that “These inspections are to ensure that Department of Defense (DoD) classified material is safeguarded properly. “
The NISPOM requirement states:
“All persons who enter or exit the facility shall be subject to an
inspection of their personal effects.” Personal effects are
defined as briefcases, shoulder bags, handbags, luggage, athletic bags, packages, parcels, envelopes, and the like.”
During personal effects inspections, employees will be requested to open briefcases, shoulder bags, handbags, luggage, athletic bags, packages, parcels, envelopes, and the like as they are entering or leaving the facility.
Associates may be requested to move or remove items to enable a complete inspection, and they will be asked to sign a log.
Associates should alert Security personnel during the conduct of an
Inspection of any classified material in their possession when entering or exiting the facility.
This doesn’t have anything to do with proactive measures to further protect employees. It does, however, have everything to do with missing golf balls.
You got to love it!