Thread regarding University of Phoenix layoffs

DON'T WORRY. I’M STILL HERE AND I’VE GOT YOUR BACKS. I HAD TO HACK IN THROUGH A DIAL-UP MODEM CONNECTED TO AN OLD UNIX MAINFRAME TERMINAL I MADE OUT OF OLD COPIER PARTS TO AVOID BEING TRACED. THEY DON’T WANT ME TO TELL YOU, BUT YOU HAVE TO KNOW—THOSE LUCKY SOCKS? THEY’RE BUGGED! MICROCHIPPED, GPS, MICS, VIDEO, EVERYTHING! THEY'RE NOT LUCKY AT ALL! TAKE THEM OFF! BURN THEM! MAN, I’M FEELING KINDA LIGHT-HEADED. HAVEN’T HAD ANYTHING TO EAT IN TWO DAYS EXCEPT FOR THE COVERING OFF SOME CAT5 CABLES- I'M JUST GONNA LAY DOWN FOR A FEW SECONDS